Orang gila

Kadang-kadang ada benda yang perlu kita simpan, jangan diluah, jangan dilontar. Jangan.

Bila semua benda yang kita lontar, kita luah, pasti akan berbalik pada kita bila sampai masa.

Tak payah nak hairan, semua orang boleh jadi orang gila.

Aku mungkin salah seorang.

Terpekik terlolong diam-diam pendam dalam hati.
Menjerit meracau diam-diam terperosok dalam jiwa.

Sadis. Tapi itu bahasa puitis kan?

Kau baca, kau simpan sudah.

Tak payah nak lontar balik.

Aku dah penat nak layan.

Endless

Some days it seems like it'll never end. Like there's just too much to do.

The reality of the situation is, you'll never be finished. If you finish all the work you've got to do, you'll find more to do. You can never really reach the end.

So accept that. Be ok with it. Find the peace you're looking for in the now. In this moment.

Right now. Every now.

Depressed

It's been a while,kan? Tak sempat nak update since after raya too many things happened. Ada jugak few posts yang sempat aku tulis, but then i didn't publish it sebab macam dah basi sikit dah cerita tu. Lately ni banyak sangat benda jadi so tak tahu mana yang harus mula dulu.

Dah hampir seminggu aku tinggal seorang diri di Penang. Kakak had been offered to further her study for PhD di USM Kelantan. So, i have no more housemate, and yea..seriously boring gila duduk sorang-sorang, especially weekend..dulu ada kakak yang boleh jugak borak-borak masa tengok tv, habis kerja beli makanan siap-siap and then lepas maghrib boleh makan sama-sama. Kadang-kadang kakak masakkan makan malam, and we ate them all together, seriously boleh nangis kot bila fikir semua tu dah totally different sekarang. I seriously miss my sister soooo much. -__-

I've been offered a new post di IWK Penang unit. Tougher than my current post. Tapi itu arrangement bos sebab actually officer yang hold post tu had been upgraded to a higher level so tempat tu dah vacant sekarang. And actually, dah ada pun orang untuk isi tempat vacant tu, but then the bos wanted me to take that post. Sekarang the new officer dah report duty pun last Monday, and then no black and white saying that i'll be taking that post, so sekarang dah jadi confuse tau tak. Am i going to take that new place tak pun just continue with my current post or that new officer will be taking my place pun tak sure lagi. Yang lebih worse tahu tak, boss wanted me to cover 2 department since the new officer still new so he don't know much how to handle things. Memang lah kan, nama pun baru. Tapi aku dah macam miserable gila. Pagi cover satu department, petang aku cover another department. Memang kelat je muka 2 hari ni. Lunch pun tak sempat, seriously memang diuji gila-gila. Harap-harap semua ni dapat settle within this week, hopefully.

Ada yang cakap aku tak tetap pendirian, kejap nak ini kejap nak itu. Masalahnya takkan aku nak pandai-pandai lepas current post bagi dekat budak baru and then buat macam biasa sedangkan banyak gila kerja pending, serabut sangat-sangat rasa. Kejap suruh buat ini, bila pending cakap aku buat kerja slow, do they know how hard am i handling 2 departments at the same time? Underestimate aku pulak tu kadang-kadang, 'seriously, do you know how to handle this?' Kalau tak yakin dengan ability aku, then don't let me handle that. Kan senang.

Aku bersyukur sebab boss yakin dengan kemampuan kerja aku, but then apa yang dia expect? in 2 days aku boleh major in everything? Baru lepas thumb print dah call suruh settle this, handle that. And then shoot email suruh settle pasal budget la i am soooooooooo tired tahu tak. I can't wait for this coming weekend, nak balik rumah and leave everything behind first. Seriously cannot cope so far. Agak-agakla kan?

Harap-harap masalah ni dapat selesai dan aku boleh focus on what i'm supposed to do. Doakan kawan-kawan.

Aku depressed.