Sunday, October 31, 2010

(^__^)^




Standing on the edge of the water, I looked out towards a land I could not see. Somehow, I knew you were doing the same.


Thinking of me when i'm thinking about you.

Saturday, October 30, 2010

Family comes first

Akhirnya aku luahkan juga pada papa perihal IWK masa makan malam tadi. Mak pun ada sama. Tunduk lesu saja aku saat aku mula bercerita. Papa dan mak tak berkata-kata apa. Hanya biar kan aku seorang mengomel tak tentu hala.

" Cik rasa kali ni melepas lagi la papa."

Papa senyum. Mak pun.

" Takpa la nurul. Bukan tak dapat lagi kan, selagi ada masa, kita doa dan tawakal. Kalau tak dapat anggap tak dak rezeki", tenang saja mak nasihat kan aku. Sebak ok. Sebak. Sebab mak tahu aku nak sangat kerja dengan IWK.

Papa sambung, " Kalau tak dapat yang ni, cuba lagi tempat lain. Banyak lagi aih. Hang bukannya tak dak pengalaman," keras papa nasihatkan aku. Tak suka aku buat muka selebeh. Tahu sangat papa tu.

" Ya la, nanti cik cuba cari kerja kosong kat tempat lain. Mak ngan papa doa-doakan la eh?" aku balas sambil sumbat ayam KFC dalam mulut. Abang ngah belanja makan malam ni, sebab sambut anniversary dia dengan kak ngah.

" Hmm takpa. Cuba ja lagi. Dapat mana-mana interview pi saja" Papa sambung lagi.

" Oh, betoi ni papa?" aku suka,aku suka ni.

Papa diam. Sambil membalut rokok daun dengan tembakau dia balas, "Mana-mana saja, papa tak pernah nak kisah pun."

Dia sambung lagi, " Tapi bukan dekat KL."


Aku diam, mak pandang aku. Sambil buat isyarat mata, " Jangan nak menjawab ".


Aku terus jawab pada papa,"Okay"


Macam aku pernah kata dulu.


Family comes first.


Selalu.

Good news? No, i don't think so.

" Congratulations. You had been shorlisted to the top 5 regarding on the interview at IWK last Tuesday."

I got the phone called from IWK yesterday, informing the so-called-good-news. I wish i can scream out loud at that time. Serious. But i can't since i'm at the form 5 tuition class.

" Oh thank you. So, when would be the confirmation result?" i replied.

She paused. And, then she said," You had been shorlisted for the first batch."

"Ha? First batch? " Ini intake masuk U ke apply kerja?. I am so confused at that time.

" Oh, i'm sorry for not informing you the other day. There will be a second batch involving another 15 candidates for the same post. And maybe, we will be having the third batch as well."

I was...speechless. Another 15 candidates??

" This post is actually for the Head of Department for Operation and Maintenance- Refurbishment. So we received a lot of applications. We need to do it by part, since we can't make it at the same time and the same day"

" Oh...i see. Well, thank you for informing me. And thank you for choosing me in the top 5 list..ermm in the first batch"

She didn't reply. But i know she's smiling. Heh.

"Good luck for your application miss Nurul"

I just smile. But seriously, i don't think i can make it again this time. No such thing. Head of department? Still, i am grateful because i had been chosen in the top 5 list for the first batch, but hmmm..semangat terus menjunam jatuh ke baawah tanah lepas orang tu cakap akan ada interview lagi untuk post yang sama. :((((

Tapi kan, seingat aku..aku tak apply pun untuk post tu. Aku just apply untuk Field Engineer-Refurbishment. Itu post yang biasa-biasa ja kot. Diorang salah tengok ka apa? Huhuhuhu

Nak inform dekat parents pasal shorlisted dalam top 5 pun aku dah tak sanggup. Sebab, tak perlu. Lagipun, aku dah hilang semangat langsung. Macam tak dapat jee. Sobs. T_____T

Bye bye IWK.


Tak payah tunggu aku. Waaaaaaaaaaaa~ T____________T

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

7 Pelangi

I burnt my tongue on you. Now I've lost all sense of taste.


....(long pause)


I'm fine. I just break sometimes. Just understand that if I break, I'm breaking for you.

7 Pelangi :

If I let you go
Something I belong
Forever will be gone
The love is never shine
It is so hard to say since you far away
Nothing i can do
The love is only you
To the end of time
I’ll be missing you

Path

Dah hampir setahun aku dah mula menjauh dengan buku-buku.
Dapat tahu kena interview dengan IWK kelam-kabut mencari punca. haih
Dulu masa ambik subjek environmental engineering tak reti-reti nak belajar rajin-rajin. Sekarang baru nak menyesal. Padan muka. T___T

Interview di IWK tadi ok la, not that great (as expected) but it was just fine. Ok-ok je. Got 15 candidates that had been shortlisted for the post offered. Tapi post tu cuma nak pakai 3 orang je. Can i be the top 3 in the list? ENTAH. @__@

Paling menarik tau apa? Aku orang pertama yang kena interview. Tepat pukul 2.30 petang. Dahsyat. Masuk dalam bilik tu ada la dalam 20 minit kot, keluar je dari meeting room the rest 14 candidates semua stare kat aku. Ala, aku tahu la mereka tu nak tanya apa, " Is that ok?" " Soalan apa dia tanya?"

Hehehe. Untung jadi orang first, kan? Aku buat macam yakin je lah, bagi orang expect aku di temuduga dengan jayanya. Sedangkan...hehehe.

Expectation aku untuk post ni? Entahla. Nak pilih 3 out of 15. Chances is 30%. Very low kan? Berdoa dan tawakal. Itu je yang mampu buat sekarang.

Betapa aku rindukan saat study sampai lewat malam sampai terkesan pada interview dengan IWK ni. Study pasal wastewater and so on sampai sakit kepala. Hehehe. Doakan aku okay kawan-kawan? Kalau aku lepas IWK ni nanti kalau ada submission kena ada kelulusan IWK korang cari aku. BOleh nak kaw-tim. Hehehe. Belum dapat niat dah jahat. Eh?



Khusyuk ni. Entah apa-apa



Poyo. @__@


Okay. Bye.

Monday, October 25, 2010

A love note

I love you. I love your eyes. I love your smell. I love your hair. I love your laugh. I love your skin. I love everything inside you. And I'll try to make all the parts that I find, happy.

Because you make me happy. So much.


Come back here soon.


Please.

Sunday, October 24, 2010

Hope

Sedang memaksa diri mencuba sesuatu yang aku tahu adalah sangat susah nak dapat.
I'm not expecting anything.
Tapi, tak salah mencuba.

Ya Allah, mudahkan aku.
Ini peluang untuk aku tinggalkan tempat ini.
Tolong mudahkan aku.

Kawan-kawan,
Doakan aku.

IWK,
tunggu aku.

Saturday, October 23, 2010

Bon' Voyage

I am exploding. My heart is exploding.

When i'm happy, i will only remember the happy times in my life. When i'm sad, i will only remember the sad times. There are two sides to everything. Because for me,life is never one colour.

Remember this.

I know, sometimes i am not good at everything. But at least i'm trying to be one. I hate to hear that word, "Goodbye". Goodbye is the other word instead of " Please take a good care of yourself, hope to see u soon"

I just don't like the word 'soon'. 'Soon', how soon is that?

I believe that what is wrong will be right. What is pain will be joy. What is sick will be healthy. What is rough will be smooth. And what is lost will be found. All i need is time.

I'll be okay, the fact that you are no longer here, close to me will be the fact that i'm trying hardly to accept.

You left, i stayed.

It's all about time.

I am holding you, even now. :)

Yes, i need to appreciate the bad times because they give me contrast to the good times; especially when i'm with you. So,there is a reason for everything. Even pain. Right?

You'll be fine, i'll be good.


I will miss you. And please,


Miss me even more.

Goodbye.

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Jangan jujur sangat

" You English SPM dapat berapa dulu?"

" Emm A1"

" Muet?"

" Emm Band 5."

" Okay. Kalau macam tu you tak ada masalah la kan?"

" Masalah apa?"

" Esok masa presentation depan pihak Majlis you ja lah present okay. Nanti kalau dah tak tau nak jawab baru pas kat i. Okay? Ini arahan, no excuse."

" Haa?"

" I kata no excuse kan?"

" Emm...Okay"

Ptfffff. Pe jadah nya ni. Projek manager sebenarnya siapa? Menyesal pulak aku cakap jujur. APESAL TAK TIPU CAKAP AKU SETAKAT LULUS JA ENGLISH SPM DULUUU?????

WTF.

Saturday, October 16, 2010

Du'a

Where you are, right here and now, this is how bad stories end. But it's also how the best stories, begin.

I hope that this time i'll be doing fine and GREAT.

Yes, i'm wishing myself a best of luck.

Failure is the universe’s way of telling me to either try harder or try something else. Nothing more. Nothing less.

So if i couldn't get through this time, i won't say that life is not being fair to me. I had been given a chance, it's all up to me to make it real or i can keep it to still be as a dream.

Dear ONE UP ABOVE, Guide me, Help me. Please.

Friday, October 8, 2010

Kompleks

Terlalu banyak implikasi.
Kompleks dan rumit.

Aku cuma mahu duduk di suatu sudut dan tak perlu mengganggu.

Dan aku pun tak mahu diganggu.

This is fair enough. You got yours and i got mine.

Tak perlu nak lebih-lebih sangat.

Aku dah cukup bertolak-ansur,

Tahu?

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Ahli Nujum

Akhirnya aku akur juga dengan kemahuan luar-luar yang mahu itu dan ini.
Melangkah juga aku ke ruangan itu berjumpa dengan orang yang itu. Orang yang paling aku malas nak berjumpa sepertinya ada tembok besar pisahkan ikatan kimia dari hati ke hati. Tapi aku terpaksa pergi sebab dah tak larat nak menadah telinga mendengar Aizat membebel itu dan ini.

" Ehmmm, awak ni lemah sangat badan ni. Tekanan darah awak rendah sangat ni" Doktor N berkata semasa aku bersama dia di ruangan itu.

" Awak penat kerja ka macam mana? Kerja apa?"

Aku senyum, lemah. Semasa mula-mula aku menjengah masuk ke dalam ruangan Doktor N aku dah ditegur sebab riak wajah yang agak pucat. " Penat la sikit doktor. Kerja saya kadang-kadang ada masa stress sikit. Tu yang penat kot," aku balas.

" Sebab tu la tekanan darah awak ni rendah. Kawalan hormon dalam badan awak pun dah tak seimbang. Sebab tu lah awak dalam keadaan tak stabil sekarang. Awak faham maksud saya? "

"Faham." ringkas aku jawab.

" Saya nak check perut awak. Baring ke katil tu sat "

Doktor N sambung, " Perut awak masuk angin ni, tu yang sampai muntah-muntah. Awak tak makan ka?" sambil tepuk-tepuk perut aku. Memang bunyi macam tong dram kosong. Sumpah.

" Saya diet. Nasi saya makan 3 hari sekali, tak pun seminggu sekali."

" Ya Allah. Yang awak nak diet tu kenapa? Bukannya awak obesiti pun. Dengan tekanan darah awak yang rendah ni, awak tak makan lagi boleh effect kidney awak tau. Jangan dok diet lah." Doktor N mula bercakap tak henti-henti. Gaya dia bercakap sebiji macam kakak aku. Bebel-bebel dalam tegas. Cuma bagi aku, Doktor yang paling garang yang pernah aku jumpa memang tetap kakak aku tu juga. Aku rela sakit dari jumpa doktor yang semacam kakak aku. Tak berani. Hehehehe

" Saya bagi awak ubat ini, ubat itu. Ubat ni awak kena habiskan juga. Minggu depan kalau masih rasa lemah-lemah datang sini balik untuk check tekanan darah awak. Masih dalam keadaan sama, saya bagi ubat lagi besar dari ni. Mau?"

" Errr..ubat ni pun dah cukup besaq doktor, ada lagi besaq ka?"

" Ada. Kalau nak, datang minggu depan"

Aku senyum, dalam hati diam-diam aku dah rancang, ubat ni besar so bila nak makan aku nak kerat dua dulu. Biar kecil-kecil, senang nak telan. Hehehe. Aku senyum sorang-sorang. Akal kena berjalan.

"Boleh saya keluar sekarang doktor?"

Doktor N angguk sambil balas, " Lagi satu ya Nurul, awak jangan dok kerat ubat tu jadi dua bahagian eh. Nak makan, telan sebiji besaq tu terus. Dok kerat-kerat bagi kecik nak bagi senang nak telan memang minggu depan confirm jumpa saya lagi"

Aku angguk, terkejut. " Ermm terima kasih Doktor", dan sebelum keluar dari ruangan itu aku sempat toleh belakang.

"Klinik Dr Noriah." Aku garu kepala. Betul la ni klinik. Saja nak pastikan, mana tahu aku tersesat masuk tempat bomoh ka apa. Tapi, kenapa Doktor tu macam ahli nujum pulak? Eh?



Gambar curi-curi masa dia tengah sibuk bercakap phone sampai ais kacang pun cair. ^_^ Alhamdulillah would be the best word to describe how lucky i am to have you in my world. Thanks sebab belanja ais kacang selepas Yany balik dari klinik. So sweet of you, Love.