Tuesday, March 26, 2013

My precious

There are a million important things to do. But none as important as lying here next to you.

Mama loves you, baby.

Ahmad Aneeq bin Ahmad Aizat, 4 months 1 week 2 days old. :)

Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Anak itu Rezeki

Actually I have tonnes of works to do by now but seriously I really have something that I need to jot down here.

I had my lunch with few staffs just now. We were just discussing on random things until one of us said something which..I don't agree at all. Well, yea I know different people would have different opinion but still, I can't accept it.

The topic is about babies. They actually were asking about Aneeq, so yea there's a lot to share if you ask me. Hehe. But then when I was talking about Aneeq bla and bla suddenly this girl (one of my friends also la), which actually just got married about 2-3 months ago, said that she's not ready to conceive/to have her own baby yet. She said that she would try not to get pregnant or 'bunting pelamin' la kot, for reasons that she's not ready, financial condition not stable, worrying that the preparation of having own baby will cost her a lot and etc. I was just sat there, and said nothing. I really wondered what is actually on her mind when she said that. She don't like kids or what?

So I asked her, " How about your husband? Not ready too?"

She said YES. They both are not ready. Satu sebab diorang PJJ. Okayla aku cakap. PJJ adakah means kurang kasih sayang to each other? Weekend husband and wife, so? Tak da masalah pun pada aku personally. Dah la cakap macam tu, boleh pulak add on yang they are actually planning on having the so-called honeymoon for about a year , travelling, dating and you name it la before preparing themselves to have their own baby.

Seriously, I hate that statement. Kenapa kalau dah kawin, dah ada anak, tak boleh honeymoon? Takut tak ada privacy? Hell noooo! I was bunting pelamin jugak, PJJ jugak (masa tu) but it never make me and Aizat feel less on each other pun. In fact, we still went for midnight movies, dating dekat Queensbay tepi laut tu, macam-macam lagi yang dibuat all the while aku mengandung tu. We both were really excited masa nak check gender baby, nak tahu baby growth and etc. Aku in fact macam nak gila kot when I had spotting takut miscarriage apa semua. I know, itu pendapat aku..tapi perlu ka nak cakap yang bila ada baby hidup kita akan susah? Financial akan goyah? WTheck man.

Macam-macam pulak dia bagi alasan lepas tu. Mahal la bersalin dekat private. Nak kena spend almost 10k for that purpose only. Aku dah macam..kalau dah rasa itu beban, go and deliver dekat hospital la. Bukan mahal mana pun. Cakap taknak. Service government hospital out. Mana kau tau? Aku elok je, Alhamdulillah. Susah la bila deal dengan orang yang still nak stay in the denial state. Susaaaahhh.

Seriously, I am not regret for having my own son at early stage of my marriage. I feel blessed. I am proud of it. Aku rasa dihormati di sana sini. Aku rasa bangga dapat dukung anak aku ke mana-mana aku pergi. Aku rasa rezeki aku semakin melimpah ruah dengan adanya Aneeq. Aku bangga. Betul.

Aku teringat Ustaz Azhar pernah kata something like: Kalau plan to not have kids sebab takut tak cukup duit(miskin) tu tak boleh, sebab the Quran says "..kill not your children because of poverty'-We provide sustenance for you and for them-"[6:151].

"..Kamilah yang memberi rezeki kepadamu dan kepada mereka.."[6:151].

Of course, it is not that you're killing anyone, but I kinda thought it'd be nice to know about that matter/issue in this kind of perspective. Kan?

I reaaalllly wish that the girl will read this. Harap-harap.

Wednesday, March 6, 2013


Since I have a bit of free time, might as well I jot something down, even though they are random and there's really nothing on my mind right now.

Thinking back, during my early years in this profession, I did overtime 5-6 times per month at least which was quite normal to me( even though I can't claim on the OT for reason of executives are not allowed to claim on OT, like what the heck I have tonnes of work to do so I have to -__-). It didn't affect me much, even socially. Mother always wondered how can I still be energetic most of the time. I still don't know how I did it. I was not yet married at that time. Must be because of I'm living with my sister in Penang, nothing much I can do when I get back home kot.

Nowadays, I am so sick of it. The funny thing is, it is less busy now since I've moved up the career ladder and changed work place. I think it is because of being a working mother, I have to fetch Aneeq and then back to home do the house chores, cook for dinner, have some quality time with husband and Aneeq so I just feel like, stay back in the office after working hours is just a waste of time. Hehe

I still remember, about 4 months after I started working, I really enjoyed the responsibilty. I was like a SuperWoman. One day, I was doing work all by myself, no one helped me even though there were tonnes to do. I didn't ask for help, because to me, I don't need to, if they were nice enough, they would help me because I always helped them. Karma tells me I should get back what I give.

So, nobody helped me. But my hard work didn't go unnoticed. My boss saw my struggle, so he gathered us in a room, and he questioned them one by one, what they were doing, when they saw me working so hard.

At last, I kindly defended them, I said, "It's not their fault, Boss, I was the one who didn't ask for help."

My boss stood there, quiet, then he said clearly, "This is the kind of friend you want to keep for the rest of your life."


This boss was known to be as one of the most fierce/ most strict around. Since that day, he was always so nice to me. That day, he even gave me an hour off to freshen up and scolded my staff for burdening me with even the tiniest thing.

But then, sekarang ni..Tak kuasa aku nak tolong orang yang tak tolong aku. I know it's bad lah, tak boleh lah nak revenge revenge kan, but enough bullying me! Boss dekat sini tengok on paper je pun, bukan dia fikir kita buat kerja macam mana..as long as the work is settle within our LOS ( level of service). Boss baru ni agak relax jugak kadang-kadang but then quite pushy when it comes to something that urgent. Normal la tu kan, bila dah urgent baru nak kalut. Hehe. But seriously, I kinda like this new place..no stress, happy, convenient dan dekat dengan rumah babysitter Aneeq dan rumah aku sendiri. 15 minit je dari rumah -> rumah pengasuh Aneeq -> tempat kerja. Syukur-syukur. Hehe.

I've worked in a multiracial environment before, and never in my life that I felt that I was being looked down at. In fact, I still keep in touch with my Chinese/ Indian/ Malay/friends from my previous workplace. And, we still hate the same Chinese/ Indian/ Malay, not because of his/ her race, but because of the attitude. Kalau dah lazy, kerja tah apa-apa, berlagak pulak tu, mestilah mazmumah dan patut dibenci kan...dan bagi aku it is not about the race. Kena cermin diri balik, how good we are to condemn people..before we start condemning other people, look at ourselves..bagus kah kita?

Perhaps people look down on you not because you are a Malay, but because of your mentality or attitude or your behaviour, have you ever thought about that?

The boss who defended me (as told above) was an Chinese oldman (kekekeke). The colleagues who didn't help me (as told above) were Chinese/ Indian/ Malay.

Buktikan yang kita boleh, bukan stuck di zon selesa. Takde kena mengena dengan bangsa, unless you are indeed a racist.

To me, working in a multiracial environment is better, because indirectly, I would feel a sense of responsibility not to embarrass my race/ religion. Jadi, kita pun become a better person.


Haha! Aku ni lagi laa..

My zon selesa tetap di Pandan Indah. I tell you to get out from your comfort zone, but I myself insist to return to my comfort zone. (Peace!)


Oh, well.

Aku sekarang memang dah tak suka kerja susah-susah. Pegi kerja pukul 8pagi balik pukul 5petang. Thats it. Ambil Aneeq dari babysitter, balik rumah penyek-penyek Aneeq kejap, and if Aneeq mood baik boleh la terus start masak kalau tak okay kena layan dia sampai dia tidur. Malam lepas Maghrib la baru start masak jawabnya. And being me, after getting married and have my own son, aku sangat rajin masak. I even asked Aizat not to worry on what to eat for dinner sebab I will make it done cuma kadang-kadang aku serabut jugak nak masak apa pastu put the blame on Aizat sebab dia jenis tak kisah nak makan apa. Hahaha.

Oh my life is so good to me. Thank you. Terima kasih Tuhan. Alhamdulillah. :)