Monday, June 25, 2012

Tentang Rasa

It is so frustrated when you tried so hard to get something that you want, but at the end when it is almost there, you have to let it go..just like that.

Hmm..Planning Department HQ had sent me an email last week and the HOD herself ( Head of Dept) asked for my resume and requested me to fill in the internal transfer form since they told me that got vacant for Planning Engineer in HQ. But it is open to the internal employees only. I thought it was a very big opportunity for me to get transfer and settle down in KL with beloved hubby.

But when everything is in order, seems to be fine and okay, hubby told me something that make me feel soooooooooooooooooooo frustrated. Down.

I don't know..why is this happening to me when everything seems to be ok?

Aizat's company is now bidding for a new project in Bangladesh, Hong Kong and Indonesia. For now, the 3G project will be developed in Bangladesh and if his company win the the project, the director will send him there for about 2 to 3 months. The result will be confirmed by latest next month. And based on Aizat, his company got a chance to get that project and yes, he will leave me and our baby for quite some time. For our own good. Yes for our own good.

If that thing happens, I will face my 3rd trimester without my husband. At that time I'm probably about 8 to 9 months pregnant. How am I going to face that alone? I just don't know. I can't even imagine that seriously.. -__-

Allah knows what the best for us. Kalau dapat, rezeki anak kot. Gaji Aizat maybe akan jadi double or maybe more dari apa yang dia dapat sekarang dengan the allowance that he will get nanti kan.

So now, what for the internal transfer yang aku struggling sangat tu kan? I had been informed yang most probably i will get that post. Tapi, bukan rezeki aku lagi maybe? Terpaksa la aku withdraw. Ya Allah..kecewanya rasaaaaaaa. :(

Ya Allah..jika ini dugaan-Mu untuk kami suami isteri, mohon kuatkan hati dan iman kami..semoga kami terus bersabar dengan dugaan ini. Kuatkan aku, kuatkan anak dalam kandungan aku, dan peliharalah suami ku. Sesungguhnya kami sangat bersyukur dengan rezeki yang Engkau limpahkan kepada kami sekeluarga. Alhamdulillah. Amin..

My dear baby, jadi kuat macam ibu..jadi pandai macam ayah. Okay?

" Allah akan beri apa yang kita perlu, bukan apa yang kita nak.."