Random (v.3)

Many draft posts that are not posted..so manyyyyy. Well my bad, tak betul-betul fokus masa menulis. Tulis separuh, stopped pastu terus takda mood nak menulis balik. Lama betul blog bersawang. Huehuehue

Well I really have to cut this short. Banyak sangat nak tulis ni. Hehe. Nak mula dengan apa? :)

1. I have 2 upcoming interviews which have been scheduled this Friday and this coming Monday. Both for Government posts, J41(Jurutera awam). Satu SPA under KKM and the other one for DBKL. (dewan bandaraya Kuala Lumpur). As we all know, nak masuk gomen ni mesti ada kroni kan..well for me dua2 takda kroni pongg..haha but who knows ada rezeki kan? Mana tau worth the try ke apa.. So inshaAllah la akan pergi..KKM and DBKL tunggula daku..hehe

2. Aneeq is approaching 16 months. MasyaAllah cepat nya masa ni berlalu kan? Dia dah boleh la cakap sikit-sikit even membebel dalam bahasa dia yang lebih tak faham dari faham, but sometimes aku layankan aje. Dah boleh clearly sebut Mama, Abah, Bird, Ana(mana), and few others more. Best melayan dia sekarang, sebab memang bestla. Haha. Cuma lately ni dia sangat suka marah..kalau marah akan hentak2 kepala atas carpet(je), kalau atas lantai dia tak hentak..sanggup cari carpet dulu baru hentak kepala. Haha. Tau pulak sakit ye dok?

3. I have received so many good news dari close friends, relatives that they are expecting for 2nd baby! Wahh happy sangat kat diorang semua. Ada yang first baby not even 6 months lagi, tapi dah expecting. Rezeki murah kan? Hehe..but yang tak best bila people keep questioning me bila nak masuk yang no.2. Adoi..it is not that I don't want, but it is just that I want more time with Aneeq dulu sekarang, I mean tak puas lagi la nak manjakan dia..seriously..rasa macam dia kecik lagi..if I add one more at this time, maybe akan kurang masa dengan dia pastu dengan penat lagi..so tendency nak marah dia ke apa lagi tinggi kan, which that what I want to avoid for all this time pun. Dia pun baru nak start melasak, bagi chance dulu la. Hehe boleh? Tahun depan inshaAllah, tahun berusaha tambah anak!. Hahaha

4. We have made a very big move in our life actually. Aizat ada new project selain dari current kerja dia, he is actually having another one expanding. Dan aku baru tau kot. He brought me to the place and explained pasal project dia tu, awal-awal tu rasa macam sedih jugak, ye la why am I the last person to know about this kan? Rupa-rupanya he really wanted to tell me from the beginning lagi, tapi he didn't know how. Patutla laki aku tu romantic semacam je lately, rupanya ada udang di sebalik mee! Hehe. Well afterall, as his backbone I should support for whatever things yang dia buat pun kan. Ye la, he did it for us. Niat tu yang pasti..he really love his wife and his son..sampai kadang-kadang aku pulak yang kesian tengok. Sesibuk mana pun dia, he will make sure that he will spare at least 2-3 hours to spend it with me and Aneeq sebelum dia start buat project baru dia. And as a wife, I'm praying hard that everything will run smoothly and I believe that he will be a great man and the best husband-daddy in the world. We love you,Abah. :)

Ok, I should not leave this post as a draft lagi. But I need to stop it here. Will update if I have more in my mind. Sekian berita. Ada kerja kena buat.

TC. :)

Happy (belated) 1st birthday Ahmad Aneeq!

Aneeq dah 1 tahun! MasyaAllah, I can't believe a whole year has gone by since I gave birth seriously. A lot has happened, in his life, mine and Aizat's. But we enjoyed it so much dan semestinya we both will miss Aneeq when he was a baby (still a baby even now) yang completely unable to do anything on his own, yang suka berjaga malam, yang suka terkebil-kebil mata dan sukaaa buat muka nangis-tapinakgelak tu.

Some people said that the first year is the hardest year. I have to agree with that. Tempoh pembesaran Aneeq dari lepas pantang since I brought him to stay with me and Aizat in KL without Mom's help and etc, seriously sangat mencabar. Demam panas, demam campak, pengasuh itu ini lagi, susah betul nak cope dengan whole things that happened within a year, but we managed to do it. Eventhough work performance this year dropped gila-gila tapi macam tak menyesal sangat sebab rasa macam worth it. Hehe. It is a huge achievement for me sebab masa first time bagitau mak my intention to bring Aneeq with me in KL her reaction masa tu macam..'boleh ke budak ni jaga cucu aku?'. Hee so sweet my mom kannn. Dia punya protective sytle tu sampai ke cucu pun dia nak jugak suruh duduk bawah ketiak dia. Baru selamat agaknya. Tehehee..

Perkembangan Aneeq so far Alhamdulillah..he turns out to be a very very veryyy super active boy. He started to walk when he was 11 months old. Masa tu dia jalan jatuh dalam 3,4 steps je. Then aku and Aizat saja-saja bawak Aneeq pegi taman tempat orang jogging and ada playground for kids just nak expose Aneeq dengan new environment je. Ye la dunia dia just di rumah babysitter then balik mengadap aku and Aizat je. So we both think that it is a suitable time for him to know more about the world. His world not just involving me, his abah and his babysitter, there are more people out there, more things to learn. Aneeq sangat happy okay..dia tak pernah tengok budak sebaya dia yang dah boleh berjalan kot sebab kat rumah babysitter Aneeq takda lagi baby yang age 1 year ++ yang dah boleh jalan that's why aku assumed Aneeq tak rasa macam nak challenge diri sendiri to walk by himself sebab dia takda saingan. Dia banyak crawling je sebelum ni. Tapi brought him to the park was a right thing to do seriously! Balik je dari taman tu, malam tu dia bersungguh-sungguh nak berjalan. He refused to take my hand when being offered, he wanted to do it all by himself. Malam tu jugak Aneeq boleh berjalan dengan sebanyaakkk banyaaakk tapak nya eventho ya,shaking here and there. But still, I am a happy mommmyyyyyy :)

Teething symptoms pulak..So far Aneeq already has 4 and half upper teeth..haha yang half tu sebab gigi tak tumbuh habis lagi..he has 4 on bottom and I just realized this morning that his first molar teeth on bottom right is just appeared..terkejut gila kot..sebab aku rasa macam tak sedar yang anak aku dah besar rupanya. Still seeing him as my little tiny baby boy lepas deliver last year. Subhanallah..cepat betul masa berlalu..

Actually this post is supposed to be published on his first birthday..tapi faham-faham la dengan workload bagai..satu perenggan satu hari. Haha.

Well, happy birthday to my son, Ahmad Aneeq bin Ahmad Aizat. Mama doakan Aneeq sentiasa sihat dan dilindungi Allah selalu. Semoga menjadi anak yang soleh,baik dan cerdik pandai. Amin.

^___^

Less in a month. Yeyyy

It's October and less in a month, Aneeq will turn 1 year old! I can't believe that time flies so damn fast and it seems to be soooo unreal. Don't you think so?
-__-

What to update about Aneeq? My last update when he was about 7-8 months old I guess? Ok let's just leave it be. Well by now, Aneeq still has the separation anxiety when I'm not around. It is actually lesser that before, but still he has it. But it's ok for me then..at least I know that he knows that I am his mother. Kekeke

Speaking of babbling, he’s starting to pay closer attention to grown up talk. He copies the inflection I use when I speak. His favorite word is dada, mama and dada. He now can wave goodbye even to strangers(that's good) and clapping hands. Hee :)

He is also able to walk while holding onto furniture, well we called it as 'cruising' kot? He loves walking while pushing his walker and can stand for a few seconds by himself(and walk 2-3 steps ahead), but he's a careful boy and know he fall less while crawling so that's why he more prefer to crawl rather than to learn how to walk. Gesshhh -___-

He is currently now has 5 top teeths and 4 bottom ones. Expected more to come since he lovesssss to bite. Huhuhu..

But it's ok..he's in a learning process and...yeah..he is into everythinggggggg.


:)

Mother's love & Random (ver.3)

"A mother's love for her child is like nothing else in the world. It knows no law, no pity, it dares all things and crushes down remorselessly all that stands in its path." - Agatha Christie

I still remember a quote saying that a woman does not know her capacity to love until she has a child and that is how I feel with my Aneeq. Seeing him growing up with my own eyes, all the hard things- sleepless night, heart-break when he's got cold/fever and etc; for me, it makes the love even stronger. How strong I was to face that difficulties and the hardship, I will always feel proud of myself and of course that’s the awesome thing about a mother’s love, there’s always room for more :')

Aizat was reading my blog last night and he said, "Amboi, sekarang semua post blog cerita pasal Aneeq eh..", with a smile on his face-like macam perli pun ada. Wehee. I don't know what to reply. I just give him a big smile on my face and said nothing..sorry love. :)

Hmmmmppp, but then, to be honest..yang sebenarnya aku sanggaaaattt addicted with Aneeq. Seriously. Apa dia buat, berguling, bergolek, berpusing, menonggek semua mesti nak tengok. My eyes caught on him. Melekat macam ada gam. Sometimes I will feel like I'm not doing a good job in raising my kid. There are easy days when your kids seem like the angel that they deep down really are. But there are bad days - that make you question your judgment, your method, your beliefs - that makes you question yourself: Am I doing the right thing? I know I’m not the only one. Kan?

Adapting myself into motherhood life is not something easy. It's hard but I think all of the mommies are actually love it kot. Mana nak masak lagi, kemas rumah lagi, dengan Aneeq's need on my ketiak lah, calling 'maammaa-mammmaa' lagi la..there are a lotsssss of things to do at the same time! Alhamdulillah so far everything went well even tho diuji sangat hebat dengan Aneeq got his chicken pox at the age of 6months! Luckily husband was there, holding my hands and fully support me when I was down. Thanks abg! See, I'm writing about you in this post, not just about Aneeq. Hehe. Love you soooo much! :)

________________________


I actually so damn excited waiting for my coming soon niece(kot?nephew pun okay.hee)expected inshaAllah this coming July. Aaaa best dapat bau bayi sebab it comes from heaven. Bau syurga kan..hee..Aneeq dah bau masam dah sebab dah grown up fast! Bila bercakap dengan Aneeq especially bila aku membebel, I feel like I'm talking to a big boy sebab he will stare at me like he actually faham la kot. Haha. Comel sangat!

Haa remember about my last post about our vacation that supposed to be any date in June, actually we ended up went back to Alor Star. Hahaha. Actually, awal-awal tu..Aizat was thinking of going to Gold Coast Morib, but then bila dia nak booked the room, surprisingly all rooms are fully booked for June! Cameron is boring, Aizat la cakap. So ding dong here and there ingatkan our vacation will just be nothing, but then last 2 weeks la on Friday, Aizat came back from work and he went to bed early malam tu because he was too tired. And me on the other hand,was playing with Aneeq je la kan..suddenly it was 11pm, Aizat woke up and then he said, "Jom balik Alor Staq'..I was like, seriously? Bila?

"Sekarang."

I was so happy and melompat-lompat dengan Aneeq. Hahaha. Quickly I ran to my room and just took whatever stuffs that important including Aneeq's stuff and we went back to Alor Star at 1am. My mom was really shocked. Haha..our sweet escape. :) Ok la kot..dari membazir pegi travel ke sana sini but we ended went back to my kampung jenguk orang tua. Hehe. Thanks hubby..:)

Ok la, will update in the next post. See ya! :)

Random things ver.2

Aneeq is half a year old now, which means I've been breastfeeding him for 6 months already. Mission accomplished! Alhamdulillah. But yea, will still continue doing the 'bf-ing' work since I enjoy doing it so muchhhh. Hehe. Let's check on Aneeq's progress. 1. He’s got an impressive set of skills. Well by now, he can imitate sounds, 2. blow bubbles and 3. roll both from front to back and back to front. How fast time flies! Seeeeeeee :)

Not to forget, Aneeq nak tumbuh gigiiiii! Patutla dia asyik menggigit je sekarang ni. Phew, so many things happened lately and I don't know which one to start. But it is all about Aneeq and I'm glad that I didn't miss any moment of his development.

Worst thing happened was last month, my car got stolen. Dang! I just don't want to make it too detail in here, because I don't want to think about that anymore. Let's move on, yeh!

Nightmare happened last week when Aneeq got infected with chicken pox! Menangis aku. But my strong boy, Aneeq tak menangis, meragam jauh sekali. Redha je bila pakai calamine lotion and makan ubat demam. Alhamdulillah scar almost none. :). Me and Aizat both applied EL for a week. Takda sapa nak jaga Aneeq..tok-tok semua dok jauh. Berkorban demi anak tak apa..setahun kena cuti pun aku tak kisah. Hehe.

So now Aneeq dah almost fully recover. Ada sikit-sikit lagi dekat lutut. Scar dekat muka takda, tangan clear, badan superb..Syukurla, dugaan Allah. And hopefully Aneeq akan dipelihara dari virus-virus jahat ni lepas ni. Kena chicken pox ni pun sebab berjangkit dengan budak dekat rumah babysitter dia. Tu la risiko yang parents macam aku ni kena tanggung..huhu

Ok, sedikit busy since I left work for a week..so work mode is on!

Oh yea, we are expecting to have a vacation by early next month. Hubby pass semua bab-bab detailing on vacation ni dekat aku so yeah, nanti nak tengok tempat mana yang menarik. Definitely dalam Malaysia je la. I don't want to take the risk of taking Aneeq outside the country with so many diseases lately. In fact dia pun baru je sembuh dari chicken pox. Huhu.

Cameron maybe?

:)

My precious

There are a million important things to do. But none as important as lying here next to you.


Mama loves you, baby.

Ahmad Aneeq bin Ahmad Aizat, 4 months 1 week 2 days old. :)

Random

Since I have a bit of free time, might as well I jot something down, even though they are random and there's really nothing on my mind right now.

Thinking back, during my early years in this profession, I did overtime 5-6 times per month at least which was quite normal to me( even though I can't claim on the OT for reason of executives are not allowed to claim on OT, like what the heck I have tonnes of work to do so I have to -__-). It didn't affect me much, even socially. Mother always wondered how can I still be energetic most of the time. I still don't know how I did it. I was not yet married at that time. Must be because of I'm living with my sister in Penang, nothing much I can do when I get back home kot.

Nowadays, I am so sick of it. The funny thing is, it is less busy now since I've moved up the career ladder and changed work place. I think it is because of being a working mother, I have to fetch Aneeq and then back to home do the house chores, cook for dinner, have some quality time with husband and Aneeq so I just feel like, stay back in the office after working hours is just a waste of time. Hehe

I still remember, about 4 months after I started working, I really enjoyed the responsibilty. I was like a SuperWoman. One day, I was doing work all by myself, no one helped me even though there were tonnes to do. I didn't ask for help, because to me, I don't need to, if they were nice enough, they would help me because I always helped them. Karma tells me I should get back what I give.

So, nobody helped me. But my hard work didn't go unnoticed. My boss saw my struggle, so he gathered us in a room, and he questioned them one by one, what they were doing, when they saw me working so hard.

At last, I kindly defended them, I said, "It's not their fault, Boss, I was the one who didn't ask for help."

My boss stood there, quiet, then he said clearly, "This is the kind of friend you want to keep for the rest of your life."

Chewaaahh...!

This boss was known to be as one of the most fierce/ most strict around. Since that day, he was always so nice to me. That day, he even gave me an hour off to freshen up and scolded my staff for burdening me with even the tiniest thing.

But then, sekarang ni..Tak kuasa aku nak tolong orang yang tak tolong aku. I know it's bad lah, tak boleh lah nak revenge revenge kan, but enough bullying me! Boss dekat sini tengok on paper je pun, bukan dia fikir kita buat kerja macam mana..as long as the work is settle within our LOS ( level of service). Boss baru ni agak relax jugak kadang-kadang but then quite pushy when it comes to something that urgent. Normal la tu kan, bila dah urgent baru nak kalut. Hehe. But seriously, I kinda like this new place..no stress, happy, convenient dan dekat dengan rumah babysitter Aneeq dan rumah aku sendiri. 15 minit je dari rumah -> rumah pengasuh Aneeq -> tempat kerja. Syukur-syukur. Hehe.

I've worked in a multiracial environment before, and never in my life that I felt that I was being looked down at. In fact, I still keep in touch with my Chinese/ Indian/ Malay/friends from my previous workplace. And, we still hate the same Chinese/ Indian/ Malay, not because of his/ her race, but because of the attitude. Kalau dah lazy, kerja tah apa-apa, berlagak pulak tu, mestilah mazmumah dan patut dibenci kan...dan bagi aku it is not about the race. Kena cermin diri balik, how good we are to condemn people..before we start condemning other people, look at ourselves..bagus kah kita?

Perhaps people look down on you not because you are a Malay, but because of your mentality or attitude or your behaviour, have you ever thought about that?

The boss who defended me (as told above) was an Chinese oldman (kekekeke). The colleagues who didn't help me (as told above) were Chinese/ Indian/ Malay.

Buktikan yang kita boleh, bukan stuck di zon selesa. Takde kena mengena dengan bangsa, unless you are indeed a racist.

To me, working in a multiracial environment is better, because indirectly, I would feel a sense of responsibility not to embarrass my race/ religion. Jadi, kita pun become a better person.

-----

Haha! Aku ni lagi laa..

My zon selesa tetap di Pandan Indah. I tell you to get out from your comfort zone, but I myself insist to return to my comfort zone. (Peace!)

-----

Oh, well.


Aku sekarang memang dah tak suka kerja susah-susah. Pegi kerja pukul 8pagi balik pukul 5petang. Thats it. Ambil Aneeq dari babysitter, balik rumah penyek-penyek Aneeq kejap, and if Aneeq mood baik boleh la terus start masak kalau tak okay kena layan dia sampai dia tidur. Malam lepas Maghrib la baru start masak jawabnya. And being me, after getting married and have my own son, aku sangat rajin masak. I even asked Aizat not to worry on what to eat for dinner sebab I will make it done cuma kadang-kadang aku serabut jugak nak masak apa pastu put the blame on Aizat sebab dia jenis tak kisah nak makan apa. Hahaha.


Oh my life is so good to me. Thank you. Terima kasih Tuhan. Alhamdulillah. :)

My real birth experience. Finally! :)

I wanted to write and to share my real experience during my delivery process 3 months ago. I wanted to write about what had happened during the labor and etc. But seriously when I started to write on that thing, at that point of time I feel scared. Scared of remembering of what had happened on that day. I should say..it was the scariest thing ever..that happened in my life.
-______-

But then, seeing Aneeq who turns 3 months yesterday and healthy (Alhamdulillah), I decided to write my normal delivery process since it was the greatest experience for myself even though it was seriously scary..so that when I'm about to give birth to Aneeq's future siblings ( not sure when hehe) I can refer to this, at least it can give me strength or a view or a self confidence or you name it or whatever. Hushh

Ok, back to the topic. To cut the story short, actually during my 7 months of pregnancy, the doctor told me that I had been suspected to have diabetic problem since my sugar reading at that time was quite high. So whether I like it or not, I have to deliver based on my due date. CAN'T be later than that. Which means, if tak deliver by 16Nov, aku akan di-induce untuk rasa sakit bersalin. Force delivery. Sakit, tahu? And, since then I always have this on my mind, and it scares me a lot. Seriously.

Everything went well and I had applied for maternity leave a week before the due date. I hope that and I keep on praying that I WILL delivered within that week, at least no force delivery, no induce and etc. Biar sakit semulajadi. Unfortunately, I feel nothing. Boleh pergi shopping barang baby lagi tu..

So hari yang ditakuti sampai juga. Hari Jumaat, 16hb November 2012. I was scheduled to get induced at early in the morning after the CTG ( checking on the baby's heart beat) and do the VE. ( vaginal examination). I hate VE. You can search it in the internet for further info. :). After all done, the MO ( medical doctor, not the houseman) which is a very gentle lady put something like a pill, macam panadol pil tu..she put it into my miss V. It didn't hurt me at all. VE lagi sakit kot. Then. aku ditahan wad for their observation. Apa yang nurse bagitau masa lepas aku kena induced tu is that normally for those who get induced will get their 2nd or 3rd induced baru boleh beranak. So I was like..err okay..I have to stay in the ward for 3 days kot if still tak deliver with the 1st induce. Dalam hati macam..pasrah je lah kan..

I have a feeling that sure aku akan diinduce untuk kali kedua since after the 1st one, I feel nothing at all. At all. Dari pukul 7.30pagi until 2pm..checking on VE bukaan cuma 1cm. Aku lagi la, ha..1cm? Tak sakit pun? -___-

Aizat and my whole family were really worried at that time. They keep on calling me asking about my condition. And being me, aku memang tak reti duduk diam kan. I was so anxious I could not sit still. I tossed and turned, I sat, I walked around, I read baby books. Family was not allowed to visit so I was all alone. Huhu. Luckily the room was okay, got air conditioner and so convenient. I just surfing the internet about delivery prosess and recite the Surah Maryam using my tablet so yeah I was not that bored,I should say.

So there it goes..I still feel nothing so I went to bed to have rest. But then..I still remember, it was 4am in the morning..I feel hot suddenly and wet. I looked at my pants, it was wet all over. So first thing came out from my mind is that my water bag is leaking. I push the button near my bed and called the nurse. She came and checking my temperature and gave me a new set of clothes. She asked me to change and quickly come to the checking room to do the VE again. At that time it was only 2cm dilated. The doctor ( houseman) told me that if by 6.30am the result is still the same, I will get my 2nd induced. The thing is that, I still feel nothing and yeah I was so redha at that time if that the only choice that I have.

Soon after that, I checked again and yeah got discharge, fresh blood but not that heavy. I went back to bed and sleep.

Tak lama lepas tu, tetiba aku rasa tak selesa. Sakit perut. Memulas-mulas. Bukan nak membuang. Its a no no. It happened every 15 minutes. I looked at my watch it was about 5.45am. Aku rasa sakit sangat. Sangat-sangat. Parents are allowed to visit at 6am so dalam masa sakit tu Aizat and my mother in law came in. I cried to Aizat, and he hold my hands dan berzikir dekat telinga aku. My mom in law on the other hand, buat air milo untuk beri tenaga untuk bersalin nanti. Based on her view at that time, aku memang akan bersalin pagi tu jugak. She brought so-called 'Air Selusuh' and asked me to drink it. Tak banyak pun aku minum. Sekadar sesudu, sebab rasa dia..ermmmmmmmm mestila tak sedap. Huhu..

It was 630am, Aizat and mom in law kena keluar wad. Masa melawat dah habis..aku menangis tak nak diorang tinggalkan aku. The nurse called me to do the VE again while me at that time I can't even stand still. Aizat pimpin aku ke bilik pemeriksaan. Tapi guard perempuan tu bising-bising suruh Aizat keluar. So Aizat terpaksa tinggalkan aku kat situ. Aku dah sakit sangat, macam dah 5 minit sekali. Nurse tengok aku dah pucat, she asked the doctor to bring me in first sebab masa tu ramai yang tengah tunggu untuk diseluk. Nurse pimpin aku masuk dan MO yang check not the houseman pagi tadi tu. Mujurlah. Doctor was surprised since after her checking she told to the nurse to bring me to the labor room as soon as possible. It was already 5cm approaching 6cm dilated.

Nurse dah kelam kabut cari wheel chair. Guard yang macam hampeh tadi pun kalut cari Aizat. Aizat was not there. Aizat di surau, solat Subuh and luckily my mom in law was there. She then quickly called Aizat, ( dia tengah baca Surah Maryam masa tu), bagitau yang aku dah ditolak masuk labor room dah. Aizat was so cuak, dia pun kelam kabut jugak. -___-

It was 7.30am but Aizat still not coming. The contractions were even worse. I just don't know what to do, the nurse came in, change my clothes and asked for baby's stuffs. Houseman came in, cucuk jarum dekat tangan but she FAILED. Dia tersilap cari urat tangan which ended bidan yang buat lastly. Cause me lebam dan padan muka houseman tu kena marah. Orang dah sakit, dia sakitkan lagi. Huhu

Aizat finally came. He saw me with pain, dia hampir menangis. Sakitnya Allah saja yang tahu. Aku dah tak tahan dengan sakit tu so I asked the houseman is there any painkiller that I can take because I can't hold it any longer. Nak meneran sangat-sangat dah. Masa tu bukaan dah 7cm, 8.30am. Houseman tu suruh aku sedut gas yang ada kat sebelah aku untuk kurangkan rasa sakit. Aku sedut banyaaaaaakkkk..but tak kurang pun sakit. In fact aku rasa MENGANTUK. Serius menyesal.

MO datang dalam pukul 9pagi. Masa tu ada houseman bangang mana ntah main seluk-seluk aku pastu buat muka confius, ' eh ni macam dah 8cm..eh macam 7cm lagi..' Aku tengah contraction kot. Rasa macam nak tendang je. Aizat was there, and I know he was mad at that time seeing they did that to me. Then MO datang untuk double check and he said that it's already 9cm. He asked me to PUSH. Okay, I was like..aku dah boleh beranak ke???' Sakit sangatttttt

Aku push dalam 3 kali tapi aku dah lali sangat. The doctor asked Aizat keluar dulu, and I know at that time mesti dah masuk kes kritikal. Bidan bisikkan dekat telinga asked me to try harder since the baby's head can be seen but I have no enough energy to push him out. Masa tu dalam samar-samar I heard his heart beat was beating so damn fast, Ya Allah aku tak nak jadi fetal distress. Aku rasa doctor tu gunting bahagian miss V aku but I don't know for what purpose. Doctor then told me..'Puan, just one push..cuba puan..this is the only way we can do for you. The rest is all up to you. Push kuat-kuat'. Masa tu dengan houseman, nurse, bidan, semua macam bersorak bagi semangat dah macam fun fair pun ada. Diorang mintak aku push sekuat hati aku, so dengan kelalian yang sangat-sangat, aku tarik nafas dalam-dalam and hembus sambil meneran. And then I heard the doctor said, "Good job..one more push. Baby tersekat dekat bahu. I need one more.". Aku push lagi then I feel something came out from me and then Aneeq's first scream loudly heard. I was so blessed. I looked at the watch that hanging on the wall..it was 9.31am. I just give birth to another human being at 9.31am, 17th November 2012. Happy tapi aku terlalu lali dan penat untuk melompat kegembiraan..:)

Lepas settle semua, I was informed that they wanted to check Aneeq's condition since the delivery was assisted with vacuum method. So kesan nya Aneeq dimasukkan ke NICU for 3 days and yes..I was so emotional at that time..menangis je aku kat rumah rindu Aneeq. After that 3 days, bawak Aneeq balik rumah the next day kena warded lagi because of the jaundice! Sedih sangat. Luckily sehari je warded lepas tu we both just monitor in KK. Alhamdulillah Aneeq jaundice tak lama, he was okay and healthy since then until now. Syukur sangat-sangat.

Pengalaman bersalin ni akan jadi something that would be the most scariest thing but then..when I think about it again..seeing Aneeq in my life I have to say that it was the most wonderful moment ever. I wanna do it again, InshaAllah sekiranya diberi keizinan dan dipanjangkan umur..Terima kasih Allah..YOU gave me one of your million miracles in my life. Ahmad Aneeq bin Ahmad Aizat.

:)

Susu ibu dan Aneeq :)

Sejak ada Aneeq ni, masa terluang aku semakin kurang. Masa aku banyak dihabiskan dengan melenyek-lenyek Aneeq sampai lunyai. Best betul ada anak ni, penat macam mana pun tengok Aneeq penat mesti cepat hilang. Syukurla, nikmat Allah bagi. :)

Aneeq sekarang dah makin nakal. Suka ajak orang bersembang. Kadang-kadang aku layankan aje, dia pun kalau dah orang melayan tu bercakap tak berhenti even orang tak faham sepatah pun. Dah pandai senyum dan gelak. Tahu tak, it is such a great feeling when you bf your baby lepas tu dia tengok muka kita, bertentang mata and then dia senyum sampai nampak gusi yang takda gigi tu. Geram tak? :) Having an eye contact with your baby while breastfeeding is something that..that I can't explain. Feel it yourself :)

I was morally down bila aku mengalami kemuruduman susu lepas demam hari tu, aku agak down dan stress sebenarnya. I always put the blame on me, I feel damn bad because I can't produce enough milk to Aneeq. Seriously sedih, susu aku hanya cukup-cukup untuk bagi Aneeq kenyang, aku tak boleh buat stok susu pun.

So we try another alternative to avoid things become even worse nanti. Aku tak mahu stay in a state of denial, just because of I want to fully bf Aneeq, hak kekenyangan Aneeq aku tak ambil kira. Sebab, yes we do have choices young lady. I have to think of something that can help me untuk kenyangkan Aneeq, which is something that I'm afraid of before ; Formula milk (fm). Aku terpaksa feed Aneeq dengan fm masa susu merudum hari tu sebab I want to teach him to taste it, in case kalau susu aku bekalkan tak cukup memenuhi kehendak Aneeq jadi memang dia terpaksa jugakla hadap susu fm ni. I cried watching Aneeq struggling and forcing himself masa aku suapkan botol dekat dia. Of course he refused to get feed, sebab susu ibu adalah yang terbaik kan. Tapi aku bisikkan dekat Aneeq just to try that first, it is not that I'm going to feed him with fm..but I have to..just in case. Aneeq cuba hadam dan telan, dan dia berjaya even terpaksa.

Seeing Aneeq macam terseksa sangat dengan fm, aku bertekad untuk try harder to increase my production milk. Aku consume macam-macam and I read a lottt just to know the method on how to increase the production. I even posted it in the FB, seeing that a lot of my friends now are a mother, maybe they can help me by sharing their experience. Kaedah yang paling berhasil yang aku cuba are 2 types. Satu, aku consume banyak lobak putih. Buat sayur cair letak ikan rebus..memang sedap. Lagi satu buat POWERPUMPING. Oh seriously this method helped me even better! Masa awal-awal buat, aku dapat pam angin je. Amount yang dapat just 1oz-1.5oz for 2 nights. Lepas dari tu dah mula bertambah dan bertambah and now already back to normal. Aku syukur sangat-sangat. Sekarang dah start kerja pun aku masih boleh bekalkan Aneeq dengan susu aku dekat babysitter. Alhamdulillah jugak, my work place is so convenient to do the pumping works during working hours. Aku ada buat jadual pumping setiap hari so bila siang even Aneeq tak da dengan aku pun, aku still boleh pump susu dan simpan susu untuk esok. Bila malam aku memang direct feed Aneeq je. That's how I do recently, dan Alhamdulillah production milk memang macam tu, so-so tapi Alhamdulillah masih cukup. Azam nak susukan Aneeq at least sampai 6 bulan harap-harap dimudahkan Allah. Dan, kalau boleh biarlah sampai dia umur 2 tahun. It's a bonus to me!

Kehidupan di KL tak jauh beza dengan life dekat Penang. But it is more happier since Hubby and little baby ada bersama. We are not that rich, but we are just happy of what we have right now. Doakan Aneeq cepat besar, dia pun dah 5.3kg at 2 months plus. Happy sangat tengok Aneeq membesar depan mata. Cuma bab Aneeq malam-malam tidur pukul 4 pagi tu yang meruntun jiwa tu. Hehe. Kadang-kadang kena gilir dengan Aizat, tapi aku dah faham macam mana nak tackle Aneeq. Time dia tidur, mak bapak haruslah tidur jugak. Time Aneeq jaga baru lah mak bapak berjaga dan masa tu la baru aku start buat kerja rumah. Hari Rabu lepas basuh kain dan basuh pinggan pukul 3 pagi yoo. heh, kau ade?

:)

My new life :)

Alhamdulillah, Aqiqah Aneeq went smoothly last Tuesday. Penat lelah Aizat mencari kambing akhirnya berjaya juga..sedikit mahal, RM680 untuk seekor tak termasuk upah memasak. Quite a lot, tapi dah tanggungjawab parents untuk prepare semua tu selagi mampu, dan Alhamdulillah rezeki pun mencurah-curah since kehadiran Aneeq ni. Betul lah, setiap anak tu ada rezeki masing-masing..tak perlu takut kalau expenses akan jadi double or triple kalau dah ada anak, sebab Allah dah tentukan rezeki masing-masing. :) Dan sekarang Alhamdulillah..satu chapter dah selesai, but few more will come. Wish us luck :)

Offically today is my 40th day of confinement period. Which means, I have 4 days to go. Berpantang with beloved mother is one of the toughest thing in my life I should say. Banyak godaan dan rintangan yang datang sepanjang berpantang. Of course la foooood kan..mana boleh say no to all mom's cook, tapi aku ambik bau je lah since tak boleh nak hadap. Huhu. But the good thing is, my weight drop 11kgs for about a month. Yippee. Hopefully I can reach my pre-pregnancy weight which is about 8kgs more to go. Banyak tu..-___-

Well, I am now still give Aneeq a full breastfeeding. No added formula milk until to date. Syukurlah susu aku agak meriah since the first day delivery. Aku tak mengurut pun awal-awal pantang since I have the 3rd degree tear episiotomy so yea takut if jahitan tu terbuka. But luckily even masa tu tak mengurut lagi pun I still can breastfeed Aneeq sampai dia kenyang..susu pun sangat meriah. Alhamdulillah rezeki Aneeq sangat murah. Sekarang ni aku dah start buat stock susu untuk Aneeq bila aku dah masuk kerja nanti. Buat masa sekarang aku sekali pump hanya untuk 4oz je sebab boleh simpan dalam storage box yang mana kena bagi ada gap dalam storage tu sebab nanti bila simpan dalam fridge susu tu akan beku dan akan mengembang. Kalau sekali pump aku reach sampai 5-6oz aku akan simpan dalam second storage box. So far, dah almost 15 storage box aku dah simpan dalam fridge dan akan menambahkan koleksi nanti, InsyaAllah.

Susu stock ni actually boleh bertahan dalam suhu bilik about 4 hours only. Kalau kita simpan dalam ruangan sejuk fridge tu ia boleh stay until 7 days. Kalau dalam peti sejuk beku bahagian atas boleh bertahan 3-6 bulan. Tips lepas simpan stock susu ni, lepas pump jangan terus simpan dalam bahagian sejuk beku. Simpan di bahagian sejuk dulu. If in 5 days the storage milk still not used, then only can keep in the upper level, bahagian sejuk beku tu. Kalau dah cairkan susu tu, tak boleh bekukan balik, kena guna within 24hrs kot. Kalau tak silap la, ni pun info dapat dari bacaan google. Hehehe

Sekarang baru start ajar Aneeq minum susu aku guna botol. At first he was reluctant to use it. Asyik tolak dengan lidah. Tapi aku pujuk, masuk sikit-sikit dan so far alhamdulillah Aneeq mahu juga guna botol untuk minum susu. Kadang-kadang aku selang dengan direct breastfeed sebab nanti dia tak nak pulak puting aku nanti. Awal-awal tu aku cuba dengan botol BabyKiko and MAM, tapi Aneeq macam tak rela. So I decided to change to Tommee Tippee. Mujurla yang ni Aneeq boleh accept, so sekarang ni rasa lega jugak sebab satu masalah dah selesai. Even Aneeq still kena pujuk dulu baru dia rela nak guna botol, but in the end nanti sampai habis jugak satu botol dia hisap. Hehe. Good boy anak mama ni :)

So my next aim first sekali nak beli cooler bag untuk simpan susu kalau aku pump during working hours. Dekat office memang ada fridge, kalau boleh simpan situ je but to be safe beli je la cooler bag tu. Boleh tahan dari 12-24 jam tu. Stroller dah beli, which is cost us RM299. Aizat la berkenan sangat dengan stroller tu, macam mana nanti nak bawak balik ke KL pun tak tau la. Banyak kot barang! Huhu

Selama 40 hari aku berpantang dan menjaga Aneeq, aku bersyukur jugak sebab Aneeq tak banyak meragam. Dia jarang kembung perut dan tak pernah la Aneeq nangis sebab merap nak suruh orang dukung. Aneeq kalau dia terjaga dari tidur, dia tak immediate on siren bomba dia. Dia akan main sorang-sorang, kejap gelak, kejap tengok sana sini, lepas tu tangan tu gawang kanan kiri, tapi tak menangis. Aneeq akan on siren bomba yang kuat bila dia dah lapar. Semua orang dalam rumah bila dengar siren bomba Aneeq mesti dah faham yang dia dah lapar. Sebab aku tak biasakan Aneeq setiap masa kena dukung. Bila dia tak menangis, aku biar Aneeq main sorang-sorang but still I keep an eye on him. Kadang-kadang boleh tergelak tengok telatah dia. Alhamdulillah, Aneeq bijak dan tak pandai memerap. Anak lelaki mana boleh kuat merap kan..he has to be strong. Hehe. Ni tips aku baca dari satu link yang bos unit penang forward masa aku tengah pregnant dulu. Berhasil la jugak. Hehe

Aku insyaAllah akan start kerja in mid of Jan 2013. Maybe akan apply annual leave dalam 2,3 hari sebelum start kerja to actually adapt with the new environment. Ye la, ada orang baru kan..the schedule won't be the same as before lagi dah..aku kena start drive sendiri ke kerja dan tugasan menghantar dan ambil Aneeq dari babysitter aku akan uruskan. Babysitter tu aku dah booked since pregnant lagi. Mahal la jugak dia charge pun, tapi tak pa lah..tak sanggup nak hantar Aneeq ke nursery..macam paranoid tetiba. Hehe.

Aku akan bawak balik kereta aku ke KL nanti sebab senang nak bergerak. Aizat pun nak guna kereta dia juga nanti so to be fair masing-masing guna kereta sendiri. Tugasan aku la kot yang banyak sikit sebab kena uruskan Aneeq. Aizat balik kerja pukul 6, busuk-busuk nak sampai rumah pun maybe pukul 7. Lambat sangat. So aku pun volunteer la nak uruskan Aneeq sebab aku balik kerja awal, so dapat la masak dan do the house chores sementara tunggu Aizat balik. Hehe..See? Aku dah well-planned kan? Macam ibu yang berdedikasi je ye tak? Hehe

Well,this is the life that I've been dreaming of actually. I know it sounds easy, but the real thing it is not. I don't know how it will treat me later, but one thing for sure..I feel blessed for having this chance. Harap-harap next coming years nanti more good news will hit us. InsyaAllah, Amin! :)


Let's get it started bebeh!

My baby checklist :)

As parents-to-be at anytime soon, me and Aizat still discussing whether what we have prepared earlier is actually enough or not for our baby when he's born sooner. Seriously, we thought that we had prepared every single thing for him but it seems like we both are never satisfied, like seriously.

So until now i still keep on updating my check-list for all the stuffs that might be needed when our baby is born. Google here and there, found this and that, but i feel like, it's never enough. And, one thing for sure..it's been quite some time already since i bought myself anything, same goes to Aizat. All of our saving, salary ( after deducting all the commitments), all will successfully transferred to our baby-saving account. And i'm proud to say that i finally can keep more than RM3k just for the preparation of our baby. (not including Aizat's money). Percayaalaaaahh. Ngehehe

So people, let's list down what had been prepared for our little-one soon to be ; insyaAllah. Hopefully this checklist can help you readers; a mother to-be to have something in your mind on what to buy/ to prepare for your baby :

Clothings :

a) Top & Pants / Rompers / Sleep suits - Checked. Bought newborn size for about 4 pieces, the rest combined with 3-6 & 6-12 months. Total almost 20.

b) Mittens & Booties - Checked. Got 7 pairs, mixed with blue, white and brown.

c) Blanket : Checked. 1 only

d) Hats : Checked. 4 sets. Ini digunakan masa nak bawa baby pegi check-up.

e) Tummy binders : Checked. 4 pieces. Better buy the one yang boleh ikat instead of yang lekat since we don't know how the size of the baby when she/he is born. If the baby is too big, nanti yang jenis lekat tu langsung tak boleh guna.

Changing & Diapering :

a) Changing mat : Checked. One piece

b) Baby wipes : Checked. 6 packs

c) Disposable diapers/ Pampers : Checked. Bought for new born size but comes in 64 pieces. It's too much i think, mesti tak habis guna but then blame it to Aizat. Beria sangat nak beli yang banyak pieces. Hehe

d) Napkins : Checked. Got 12 pieces from Anakku. This one being requested by my mom sebab nanti during my maternity dia akan jaga, so dia nak guna untuk bedung baby nanti.

Nursery :

a) Baby cot : Not checked.

b) Comforters, Pillow & Bolsters : Checked. Sponsored by mother-in-law

c) Baby bag : Checked. This one is used during the emergency. You have to put some of the baby clothes, toiletries, pampers which will be used after you giving birth. ( normally masa dekat hospital)

d) Mosquito net : Checked

Bathing & Grooming :

a) Bath Tub : Cheked

b) Toiletries ( Baby Bath/ Baby Oil/ Lotion/ Baby Powder / Minyak Yuyi) : Checked. All in small size, Johnson & Johnson

c) Bath Towels : Checked. 3 sets

d) Baby comb / brush : Not checked

e) Cotton buds : Not checked

f) Baby Nail Clipper : Not checked


Feeding :

a) Feeding bottle and teats : Checked. 4 bottles. Different in size

b) Teat & Bottle brush : Checked

c) Bottle cleanser : Not checked

d) Sterilizer : Not checked

Mommy's stuffs :

- Breast feeding

a) Breast pump - Checked. Medela brand

b) Breastmilk storage containers : Not checked

c) Nursing bras : Not checked

d) Maternity pad : Checked

e) Nursing/ Breast pads : Checked

f) Set bersalin : Checked. Nona Roguy

Okay, I think this is all for now. Maybe I will continue updating my check list until all are completely checked. Hopefully this is the best one.

Ok, bye :)

Journey begins

Okay, hari ni nak cerita pasal hal pindah rumah and unit office baru. Since today is my second day here in Pandan Indah, nothing much i can do. Still nak adapt with the new environment here which is totally different from Penang Unit. *sigh*

Kalau di Penang Unit, partition untuk setiap orang tak la macam di Pandan Indah. Which means, for those yang memang suka privacy and lone ranger sesuai sangat la dengan partition dekat sini and semua orang tak get along very well sangat. Ye la, most of the engineers in Pandan Indah terdiri daripada lelaki. Memang tak boleh nak ngam sangat la kan..huhu

So dalam masa 2 hari ni, aku memang cuba untuk telan dan kunyah with environment macam ni. Since nothing much i can do, work load belum sampai tahap menggila lagi aku dah tak larat nak kira berapa kali aku menguap dalam masa sehari setengah ni dan berapa kali aku asyik ulang alik ke toilet sebab air cond sini super damn sejuk and yes, for a preggy person like me that approaching 8 months already, aku tak boleh hold lama-lama perasaan nak membuang air kecil tu. Huhu..layan kan aje lah ye tak?

Pasal hal pindah rumah pulak, alhamdulillah everything went well except masa nak pindah barang dari Penang ke KL. Remember previous post which i did mentioned pasal sewa lori with 2 workers that only cost me RM900 tu? well yeah, next time kalau aku nak hire orang untuk benda-benda macam ni, aku nak consult dengan Aizat or my brother in law dulu. Sebab apa? On the same day nak pindah barang tu, which at that time most of the things dah in order just tunggu nak masuk dalam lori je, driver sewa lori tu boleh sent message and informed me that he couldn't make it that day and asked me to find another lorry macam tu je. Aku memang panic sangat time tu since no matter what happened, i still have to start duty in Pandan Indah on the next Monday, tapi takkan barang-barang semua tu nak letak kat Penang? Aku memang sangat marah, and luckily my parents, kakak and brother in law were at my house. So everyone was like, 'alamak..macam mana ni..benda ni kena settle by today jugak..' aku dah macam..Ya Allah, why this thing still happened to me even though i've prepared this for almost a month ago already? Sobss panik kottttt

Then, my brother in law cuba tolong jugak, and he finally dapat satu lori sewa dari Alor Setar yang boleh datang hari tu jugak. Emergency ni..tapi upah sewa lori is actually double the price yang earlier lorry tu pulakk..RM1500 kot..aku dah macam..alamak budget lari la pulak..but then, bila discuss dengan Aizat and parents, this is the only choice that we have at that time, so just grab je la. pejam je la mata tu bila nak bayar sewa tu nanti..dalam hati, ok la..pasrah. -__-

Alhamdulillah, after what had happened hari tu finally it has come to the end. Finally berjaya jugak transfer semua barang ke rumah baru which is at 11th floor. Aku untungla sebab semua orang tak kasi aku buat apa-apa..ibu mengandung la katakan. :). Luckily ada 4 orang kawan Aizat dan abang aku yang standby kat KL untuk tolong angkat kan barang dalam rumah baru. Nak settle clearkan barang dalam lori tu pun dah sampai pukul 12tengah malam, memang penat sangat dan dua-dua laki bini terus terbungkang malam tu sebab dah over dose buat kerja sangat. Tapi aku tak la..tak buat apa-apa pun..hehehe

And now, the journey begins. Rumah ni baru ja siap kemas sikit-sikit..and baru aku sedar that my husband is very particular even for small things pun. Nak beli pelapik kaki getah nak letak depan toilet pun dia check setiap benang keliling sama ada in good condition ke tak. As for me, nak letak kat kaki je kot, tak payah la detail sangat ye tak? Ngehehe..

Dapur dah kemas,Aizat la yang kemaskan..aku tolong sikit-sikit je pun. Dan insyaAllah, maybe after clear kemas rumah nanti, kami plan nak buat kenduri sikit la. Maybe jemput jiran-jiran terdekat, sebab kena kenal-kenal jugak jiran-jiran sekeliling just in case apa-apa nanti kan senang nak mintak tolong..then nak invite kawan-kawan Aizat jugak kot..yang banyak tolong hari tu, and few relatives yang boleh datang la..at least, buat la jugak kenduri kecik-kecik pun, asalkan buat aje la..ye tak?

Apa-apa pun, aku bersyukur dapat settle down with Aizat and preparing to have a small family here. Doa-doakan la aku selamat deliver and then after maternity nanti will bring along my baby and yeah, this is the life that i've been waiting for. Membesarkan anak sendiri dan bersusah senang bersama suami.. May Allah bless this marriage, and our journey towards a better life insyaAllah. Amin.

:)

Quick update

Quick update, i have a lot of things to write down here but have no time since you know, September was the busiest month ever.

Today is 1st Oct and i am now successfully transferred to Central Planning Unit and yey it's my first day here by the way :) Hebat tak, i can update my blog during my first day working. Hehe.

Let's go down one by one.

1. Baby's stuffs alhamdulillah dah complete beli. Banyak jugak la duit keluar but i want the best for my baby so tak kisah la berapa banyak habis pun. Untuk baju baby aku tak beli semua nya new born size, aku campur-campur. Sebab baby ni dia punya pembesaran tu agak rapid jugak. So aku beli in total semua almost 18 helai jugak la, ada new born size, 3-6, 6-12. Semua comel-comel sebab baju baby memang comel-comel belaka. Hehe.

2. Sarung tangan baby aku beli dalam 7 pasang. Sebab comel sangat. Siap ada telinga bear la bagai..memang tak boleh tahan. Tilam baby pulak dapat sponsored dari parents in law, pun ada telinga bear jugak. Ikut taste mak baby kot. Hehe.

3. Pampers done, barang-barang mandi pulak aku beli saiz yang kecik-kecik dulu. Aku beli set Johnson & Johnson sebab tu highly recommended. Tapi to be safe, aku beli dulu yang small size sebab kulit baby ni tak sama. Just in case kalau anak aku nanti tak sesuai ke apa, tak da la rasa rugi sangat kalau tak guna pun kan? Bijak tak? :)

4. Botol susu pun dah complete 4 botol, different in sizes. Mula-mula kan nak beli Avent bottle, tapi setelah di survey, kalau pakai Avent brand nanti nak tukar puting pun susah. Sebab botol Avent, hanya puting Avent je yang boleh guna. Dah la mahal sangat puting je pun. So aku beli brand Kiki Lala and plus corak botol tu lagi comel dari Avent. Sebab ada banyak bear. LOL. Tapi based on doctor's advice, botol susu ni tak kisah pun brand apa, just make sure it comes with BPA free. Mahal sikit takpe, tapi risiko yang tak elok kita dah cuba avoid.

4. Mommy's stuffs pun dah ready. :) Maternity pad, breast pump ( oh yeah, aku beli medela brand at reasonable price. Yey :) Dapat jugak sebelum pindah ke KL. Hehe. Untuk set bersalin masa berpantang pulak, aku beli set Nona Roguy, same goes to the barut jugak. Mahal kot. Total 2 tu dah RM400. Tapi based on review, Nona Roguy pun highly recommended during maternity. Berhabis untuk benda-benda yang elok, tak pa la kan? :)

Sebenarnya nak update jugak cerita pasal transfer ni, how things happened during the day nak pindah tapi macam banyak sangat pulak nak story dalam satu post. Tunggula next post, kalau sempat aku update lagi.

Bye! :)

Syukur, finally

Alhamdulillah, its official!

Finally, after almost 9 months waiting for this letter, now I'm officially being offered as a new executive at Central Planning Unit in Pandan Indah. :)

Seriously, I don't know how my new job will treat me but whatever happens in the future, I believe that everything will be just fine and yeah, hopefully it will treat me good :) This is the life i've been waiting for soooo long kan, so apa-apa jadi pun kena hadap jugak la. Betul tak? Hehe

Rumah sewa alhamdulillah finally dapat jugak. Rental RM600 per month. Ok la tu, based on Aizat's observation masa pegi tengok rumah, still in a good condition. View dari balcony belakang rumah pun boleh terus nampak KLCC. Jarak rumah dari tempat kerja dalam 3km je. Hehe. Near to the Hospital Ampang jugak. Wahhh pandai betul laki aku cari rumah sewa eh? Kalau emergency nak deliver ka apa boleh terus ke Hospital Ampang je, kan?

Lori sewa pun dah booked. Penghantaran barang dari Penang ke Kuala Lumpur include dengan 2 orang pekerja agensi tu ambik RM900. Fuhh laju gila duit habis this month. Tak pa lah, for the better future jugak kan..Barang nak diangkut pun banyak jugak kot, peti ais, washing machine, katil, almari baju, meja makan, sofa and etc. Kira complete set lah senang. Memang sakit kepala jugak la aku and Aizat fikir macam mana nak arrange date nak settle semua within this month. Ye la, I have not be given any transfer leave since I was the one who actually asked to be transferred. So memang schedule for September sangat la tight with all the work loads and these stuffs too. Harap-harap everything will be fine je lah, aku apply leave on 28th Sept 12 and then 29th Sept lori sewa angkut barang, on the same day also aku dengan Aizat akan berangkat ke KL. Aku kena lapor diri on 1st Oct so seriously I won't be having any free days left. Huhu

So dear friends, please wish me luck for my new job environment in KL. Hopefully, me,Aizat and my little one inside will be having a better future nanti. InsyaAllah.
Amin :)

Update

Alhamdulillah, it has been 10 days we are in the fasting month. Syukurla, not even one day down pun. InsyaAllah akan cuba penuhkan puasa sampai akhir bulan. :)

Well, there's nothing much to tell since i'm living in a normal life like what i really want it to be. Syukur punya suami yang sabar, penyayang, kerja yang baik, rezeki yang masih cukup, anak yang semakin membesar dan keluarga yang sangat memahami. Walaupun ada jugak upside down tapi that's life anyway. Macam mana pun life kita treat kita, it depends on us how to deal with it. Kan?

I am now almost 6 months pregnant. How fast the time flies kan? Rasa macam baru je dapat tahu ada tiny little dots in my womb, dengan sejarah bleeding apa semua, and now my little one is breathing inside me. :) Ya Allah, ciptaan Tuhan Maha Agung, Dia Maha Mengetahui atas sesuatu yang tidak kita ketahui. One more good news is that, we went for the check up last few weeks to check the baby's gender, and most probably....we will be getting a baby BOY! Hehe. Alhamdulillah.

Sebenarnya kena buat sekali lagi check up untuk double confirm, hmm maybe dah masuk 7 bulan baru buat another check up. Tak kisah pun boy ke girl, as long as dia sihat, sempurna dan bakal menjadi anak yang berguna kelak. Insyaallah.

Sekarang tengah tunggu rezeki nak berpindah. Harap-harap ada la rezeki ke Shah Alam. I'm hoping for that by the way. Kalau tak dapat jugak sekarang, anggapla belum rezeki. Nak tension sangat pasal ni pun tak berbaloi..tak dapat apa-apa juga. Bersabar dan harus terus. InsyaAllah.

Apa-apa pun doakan yang terbaik untuk kami sekeluarga eh? Mudah-mudahan Ramadhan yang pertama kami sambut ni bakal menjadi satu permulaan yang baik untuk kehidupan yang jaaaauuuuh lebih baik nanti. InsyaAllah.

Selamat berpuasa dari mommy-to-be, Aizat and Aizat's junior. InsyaAllah :)

Safest Place to Hide

" Woman was made from the rib of man, She was not created from his head to top him, Nor form his feet to be stepped upon, She was made from his side to be close to him, From beneath his arm to be protected by him, Near his heart to be loved by him "

Sebab tu la mungkin, setiap kali masa tidur, aku mesti cari lengan Aizat. Aku tak perlu bantal pun, what i need is his arms. Seriously rasa macam that is the safest place for me to hide. Rasa tenang je bila dapat landing atas lengan dia, cuddle each other, lepastu berbincang pasal our current life. Financial, our future, our child-to-be sampai la sama-sama tertido. Seingat aku, since first day we both getting married, not even once pun aku tidur atas bantal, mesti atas lengan dia. Aku tahu kadang-kadang dia rasa kebas, tapi dia insist untuk tahan and biar je aku tidur atas lengan dia. Without complaining anything pun.

Kadang-kadang bila aku rasa nak nangis for thinking too much about our baby aku akan cari lengan dia. Sometimes his shoulder. Aku rasa tempat tu yang paling tenang dan selamat untuk aku nangis puas-puas. Betul la kan, macam Aizat cakap, aku la tulang rusuk kiri dia yang hilang tu. We are meant for each other dari kami masing-masing dalam perut ibu lagi. Allah dah tetapkan jodoh aku dengan Aizat, tempat aku berlindung and that is what i feel right now. Berlindung di bawah dakapan Aizat, lindungan Aizat adalah tempat yang Allah ciptakan khas untuk aku seorang. InsyaAllah.

Bila Aizat tak ada, tentu lah aku kena tidur atas bantal jugak kan. Tapi aku ni punya la dahsyat, tak boleh tidur kalau tak ada lengan Aizat. Mengada gilaaaa kan? Typical me. -__- So sebab tu Aizat ada tinggalkan deoderant yang dia selalu pakai sebelum tidur dekat aku so that bila masa aku nak tidur nanti aku akan semburkan dekat bantal. At least, ada jugak bau Aizat pun jadi la. Boleh jugak nak tidur without thinking that Aizat was not there. Seriously macam orang mabuk cinta kan? But that's me. It is not i depend too much on Aizat, tapi bagi aku Aizat is the only one that i can rely on, yang boleh accept je apa-apa yang aku buat. Kesian kan. We are not living together, terpaksa la jadi pathetic macam sekarang ni. Huhu.

Terima kasih Allah atas kurniaan seorang suami yang hebat dan setia macam Aizat. Setiap minggu balik jenguk aku kat Penang, tak kira diri tu penat ke tak, letih ke tak, as long as dapat balik. Kadang-kadang aku nangis bila tengok Aizat, sumpah nampak sangat penat sampai aku sendiri pun tak tahan tengok dia. Ada jugak kadang-kadang aku cakap tak payahla balik. Aku akan ok-ok je kat sini. Tapi dia nak balik jugak. Setiap kali aku bising-bising cakap jangan balik, dia akan jawab, " Takpa, penat macam mana pun abang, bila tengok muka isteri tercinta penat abang tu terus hilang."

Hmm. Macam mana la hidup aku kalau Aizat tak ada? ( Syukur, Alhamdulillah)

Si Mata Sepet, Berkulit Cerah

Ada satu petang tu, aku lepak sorang-sorang dekat Mamak stall depan ofis, tetiba datang sorang kawan aku join. Chinese la tapi. Aku waktu tu memang lapar sangat sebab masa tengah hari aku makan waffle je tak lalu nak makan nasi. Ye la, masa tu tengah tension pasal kes spotting la, berat makin turun la, muntah-muntah la, memang confirm la aku cepat lapar kan. Perut pun kosong.

Lepas setengah jam kami having tea-time tu, datang pulak kawan-kawan dia dan dia pelawa untuk join kami satu meja. Without asking me pun. Aku memang tak ada masalah dengan tu pun. Cuma suddenly satu meja tu huru hara dan kecoh plus bising dengan diorang yang bertutur dalam bahasa Cina. Annoying-crazy-menyampah seriouslah.

Aku benci bila orang bertutur dalam bahasa yang aku tak paham depan aku. Kurang ajar tau tak. Bukannya kamu tak reti nak bertutur dalam Bahasa Inggeris. Bukannya aku suruh kamu cakap bahasa Melayu pun. Same goes to orang Kelantan or orang Sarawak yang cakap depan aku dalam dialek dorang. Walaupun aku paham dialek mereka, kalau dah cakap pekat-pekat pastu cepat-cepat, sapa nak paham. Macam nampak sangat nak kasi orang tak paham. Kalau dah buat perangai camtu, jangan melenting kalau orang cakap kamu berpuak-puak.

Even aku dulu pun masa belajar, even though pelat Kedah aku agak kuat, tapi kalau dengan kawan-kawan yang dari negeri lain, aku behave jugak pelat aku. I meant, tak la pekat sangat. Tak da la sampai diorang tak paham ka apa. Kalau aku join senegeri aku yang semua nya memang Northern people, memang aku cakap pure loghat la. Nak kena maki tetiba cakap KL depan member-member sekampung?

Hey, jangan putar belitkan apa yang aku nak sampaikan eh. I have nothing against orang Kelantan ke Sarawak ke atau apa-apa. Aku sangat ramai kawan orang Kelantan. Even Maxe bestfriend aku yang asal Kelantan pun, kalau cakap dengan aku tak da la keluar loghat Kelantan dia tu pun. Kawan orang Sarawak pun got few jugak, tapi diorang behave je aku tengok. Guna bahasa awam. Yang orang boleh faham, tak la menyakitkan hati sangat.

Kalau ada yang cakap aku extreme, kamu suka kalau kamu kena satu projek dengan bangsa lain, tak kiralah bangsa apa, pastu dorang discuss dalam bahasa yang kamu tak paham? Sakit hati tak? Geram tahu.

Aku tak paham kenapa ada orang camni. Memandangkan masa aku kat sekolah ke kat uni semua, kawan-kawan aku yang berbangsa lain semua bercakap dalam bahasa yang aku paham, walaupun mereka tak fasih dalam bahasa tu pun.

Ini bukan isu racism ke apa. Ini soal kekurang ajaran. Etika bergaul. Kamu datang join aku kat meja aku, kamu cakap bahasa yang aku paham. Sama macam kalau kamu datang rumah aku, kamu bukak kasut walaupun kamu terbiasa berkasut dalam rumah. Simple.

Lainlah kalau aku yang pergi join group kamu masa korang tengah berbual.

Jadi kesimpulannya lepas aku habis makan, aku terus blah tanpa cakap bye kat budak-budak tu tanpa menghiraukan wajah tergamam mereka. Tak kuasa aku nak polite dengan orang yang rude. Lepastu untuk melepaskan geram, aku beli karipap banyak-banyak dan hentam sorang-sorang dekat ofis. Sampai kan clerk aku pun tegur, " Kak Yany tak kenyang lagi ka dah makan kat kedai tadi?". Aku sengih je. Malas nak bagitahu. Banyak telinga yang bangsa mata sepet tu kat ofis. Malas nak cari gadoh. Sebab, kadang-kadang aku memang rasa makan sorang-sorang tu lagi aman. Seriously.

Bed of roses :)

I took a day off on Monday and same goes to Aizat. Kami sangatlah letih since one whole day hari Ahad tu memang full with activities. Pagi-pagi lagi dah gerak ke Kuala Kangsar for Ashraf's engagement ( Aizat's cousin), then went to Kulim to meet my sister, Acu for some personal stuffs and then baru gerak balik ke Penang. We were safely arrived at home at almost 10 pm. So memang dah confirm the next day mesti lembik gila kat office so Aizat took the emergency leave while me dah awal-awal lagi apply annual leave. Aku paksa Aizat apply cuti jugak-jugak sebab nak dia temankan aku kat rumah. Hehe

My both parents in law datang Penang dan overnight at my house. Seriously la kan, aku duduk sorang-sorang so what do you expect the house would be? Maksud aku, tak ada la aku kemas rumah tiap-tiap hari pun sebab tak da la messy mana pun. Tapi disebabkan rumah aku tu memang fully furnished, so yea few things need to be done, takmau la nanti mother in law aku rasa tak selesa pulak nanti.

So start dari hari Rabu lagi aku dah kemas sikit-sikit. Aku pun pelik jugak, aku seriously cepat sangat penat, buat keja sikit je aku dah tak larat. Aku start mengemop lantai area dapur dulu. Sebab area tu paling kecik. Hehe. Suddenly Aizat called and tanya aku tengah buat apa. Aizat suruh aku stop buat kerja and suruh aku duduk diam-diam kat rumah and he asked me to wait for him to come back. Dia tak bagi aku buat apa-apa pun. Risau, takut jatuh la apa semua. Terharu kot.

Sabtu pagi Aizat sampai dari KL dalam pukul 6 pagi. Sampai je rumah dia ajak aku solat Subuh sama-sama. After Subuh we both slept sampai la dalam pukul 9 pagi. Bangun je tidur Aizat start ambil mop, penyapu, baldi and etc dan dia mengemop satu rumah siap sampai ke bilik. Tak bagi aku buat apa langsung. Yea, i admit..cair jantung tengok suami tolong kemaskan rumah. Hehe. I love u hubby! :)

As a reward, aku masakkan untuk Aizat hari tu. Still, i hit 6 out of 10. Sadis. Tapi dia tetap habiskan makanan yang aku masak sebab bagi dia air tangan isteri tu yang paling berkat. See? Melt, melt, melt! Berapa kali aku jatuh cinta dengan suami dalam masa satu hari? OMG.

Betul dalam Islam ada state kan, bercinta selepas kahwin is much much better than before. Memangla dalam perkahwinan mesti ada cabaran dan dugaan. Even aku pun tak tahu how my marriage would be in the next coming months or years nanti macam mana. Would is still be the same as before? I just don't know. Kita cuma merancang, Allah yang tentukan. So young ladies, don't be afraid of the marriage. Seriously, kita memang ada hak untuk pilih yang terbaik untuk kita sebab kahwin ni bukan dalam masa satu hari but for a lifetime. Cuma, advise aku..tak perlula sampai cari terlalu sempurna sebab no one is perfect pun. Nak cari yang sempurna bagaila, tapi kau tu dah cukup sempurna ke bagi orang lain? Fikir.

Apa-apa pun, dalam tahun ni sumpah banyak gila kawan-kawan dalam pending list nak kahwin. I am so glad for them. Pada yang belum, don't worry. It will come to you naturally. Jangan kita paksa cinta dan kasih tu datang pada kita, let it come by itself. InsyaAllah :)

p/s : tak sabar nak tunggu Aizat balik Sabtu ni. Ada hal penting yang akan berlaku. Doakan kami. :)

Crap (ver.1)

I wonder, if you broke a heart one too many times, how long will it take to mend?

Sigh. I just had to get it out of my system. I feel a bit better writing this crap. So uncharacteristic of my virtual character maybe, but who cares. I won't even delete this crap in the morning, because this entry and I, we don't have a one night stand kinda relationship. And no, I am not PMS-ing. Patutlah orang suka tulis these kind of entries, it's sometimes make things better. I hate controlling macho and having to be strong all the time. I'm a girl, I'm allowed to complain all the time kan? ( ye lah tu!)

I'm allowed to sound crazy without being labelled as emo or crazy once in a while too. Memanglah tak cool bila tiba-tiba start blabbing and lose your cool. Tapi I know sometimes surely other people pun too secretly nak jugak just release all the ke-tak-puas-an sekali sekala kan? Tapi you can't. Cause you think people will be judging you (you're right, they do judge you). And over one night nanti akan runtuh satu imej yang you have been trying to build for years. Mesti bosan kalau aku asyik mengeluh macamni. Nanti orang rasa kena pujuk pulak. JUST DON'T. Aku tak ingin dipujuk pun. I just want to be heard. Lagi best kalau lepastu pretend macam I never wrote this. Sekali sekala takpa kot. Ah, peduli apa. You can't help me.

Sigh. The road is bleak, and there always exists a hope that someone somewhere can miraculously change everything, maybe eliminate the vacuity in my heart cause no one in my life right now can. Drama gila ayat. And while I know that the person can only be me, I can't help but wish that it could be someone else, because I'm too tired to do it myself.

Seperti orang lain, aku juga penat memikirkan perkara yang sesuai untuk dikatakan dan melayan semua orang seperti mereka China dolls yang akan pecah jika aku telah mengatakan sesuatu yang salah.

Aku juga penat kerana sering disalahfaham, atau tak difahami langsung, langsung tak.

Sigh. (lagi)

Lepas tu nangis. Haih. Lembik.

Bye.

(Doa), Tuhan Kirimkan Aku Sabar ver.2

Ada perkara yang kita tak dapat or tak mampu nak cakap depan-depan, but by expressing our feeling in the blog is the best option. It took me quite sometime jugak nak post cerita baru sebelum i came out with 'Criminal Mind'. Aku ingat kan dah tak ada silent reader, tapi tak sangka Aizat masih tetap setia.

Well, Aizat dah baca pun post aku yang sebelum ni. Surprisingly, dia okay je. In fact, dia yang banyak tenangkan aku. Dia faham kenapa aku jadi macam tu. Mungkin sebab aku duduk sorang-sorang, i've got nothing much to do so yea hasutan syaitan dan fikiran yang buruk-buruk akan cuba nak telan aku. Tak susah mana pun.

He tried to save me dari drowning dalam otak primitif aku yang dah sarat dengan negative thoughts. I admit that, for the past few days aku agak banyak jauhkan diri dari Aizat. I don't pick up his calls, i don't even reply his messages. I just don't. Aku sendiri pun tak sedar why i did that. Seriously. Aku just rasa macam tak nak pick up and tak nak reply. But i don't have any intention to make things worse. Like seriously.

Bila aku solat, aku akan mohon pada Allah untuk kuatkan hati aku dan tenangkan fikiran aku. I tried to forget all those things that killing me. Inside and outside. Scary tahu tak. Alhamdulillah, Aizat tak cepat melatah. He is sooo cool. Tetap sabar dan tanya, " Macam mana lagi sayang nak abang buat?" " Apa lagi yang boleh abang buat?" You know, he tried to comfort me as much as he could. It is just me. Just me.

Alhamdulillah, things are getting better. Aku macam dah boleh berfungsi dan berfikir dengan lebih matang dan jaaauuhhh lebih baik compared to last few days. Doa aku sampai pada Allah, ketenangan hati dan kelapangan dada ni semua datang dari Dia. Kan?

Syukur sangat sebab Aizat dapat accept my weakness when our marriage is just less than 2 weeks dah. Akad nikah pun dah tinggal berapa hari je lagi. I'm so sad, when everybody else who is getting married mesti excited gila counting for their big day, while me..just such a loser. I'm so sorry future husband..

InsyaAllah, hopefully there's no more fight, no more tears, no more negative thoughts, yang ada just both of us, to love each other, counting the days together, and stick to each other sampai mati. InsyaAllah.

Kawan-kawan, do pray for us okay. Mohon. :)

* Future husband, i love u!*