It's Friday everyone! My fav day and yes, i think maybe for everyone else too. Heh. Seriously tak dapat nak concentrate kerja, well you know when the boss is not around so meaning that the 'tanduk' akan mencacak dan berkeliaran lah semua orang doing nothing. Kekeke. :p
My biggest problem right now is that i have no mood doing works and yeaaaa mengantuk gila kot. Terfikir pulak pukul berapa aku tidur semalam? Or aku bangun awal sangat ke pagi tadi - yea set jam pukul 6 pagi since nak kejut Aizat yang entah dapat semangat dari mana nak bangun awal konon tapi tertidur jugak finally. Pulak tu pagi tadi aku bangun awal la jugak lepastu lepak atas lantai yang sejuk tu dan tak buat apa-apa selama 30 minit. Fikir pun tak. Haih. Dah la mengantuk, i'm so starving macam tak makan berhari-hari sedangkan lunch tadi baru je bantai makan chicken claypot dekat Kapitan. Haih. Baca bismillah ke tidak aku tadi? Memang loser gila hari ni. 0__0
Lepastu orang ajak aku buat apa semua aku tak ada mood, orang message ke sms semua aku tak berdaya nak reply. Dalam otak aku macam nak reply, patut reply, shouldacouldawoulda tapi macam penat sangat untuk sinaps-sinaps aku travel ke jari jemari aku, jadi aku fikir, nanti la aku buat. Last-last aku tak buat apa pun, aku just space out. Tolong maafkan aku. I can't seem to function properly right now.
Aku selalu rasa macam nak muntah, dan kepala aku selalu rasa ringan. Kadang-kadang aku tersenyum, nampak macam orang gila sikit, sebab kadang-kadang tak ada sebab untuk aku senyum, contohnya bila sedang memandang sebatang pokok yang hodoh.
Tapi aku selalu, selalu, rasa macam sekarang ni. Mengantuk dan letih yang amat sangat. Walaupun aku tak buat apa-apa sehari suntuk. Jadi aku akan tido. Aku tak ingin diselamatkan. You be good. Hmmm..esok hari Sabtu.
Jadi, selamat hari Sabtu.
Selamat beriang ria di hujung minggu.
Friday, October 28, 2011
Monday, October 17, 2011
:)
Dah berminggu-minggu aku tak sempat nak update blog. Tak sempat dan tak da idea nak update apa. Yes, been busy with work and life. Well, few people sometimes wish to turn back the time but not for me. Life recently is too good, alhamdulillah for the bless Ya Allah. :)
Done with the Kursus Kahwin last 2 weeks. Bagus la juga diwajibkan untuk attend kursus ni before kahwin. Marriage is not about having it done in 1 day, tapi yang lebih penting is that the life after the marriage. We have to get ready for that. Itu yang lebih penting dari berhabis beria just untuk satu hari, kan?
I'm glad to know that we both are now ready for the future. Hopefully everything will be fine nanti. Kadang-kadang ada juga aku terfikir, mampu ke aku untuk jadi seorang isteri yang baik untuk dia? Sebab yang aku perasan since kami engaged ni, i am too sensitive. Hal-hal kecil pun aku besar-besarkan. Bukan aku tak try to change it but sometimes i cant control my anger. Kesian Aizat. He's too good to me. Bersabar dan layan je kerenah aku. I'm so sorry dear. I'll try to change to be better, for us. InsyaAllah.
Setiap kali aku spend masa dengan Aizat and when it comes to an end, mesti aku rasa sayu gila. Aku rasa tak boleh berenggang dengan dia. Yes, being apart to each other seriously tak best. Just bila dapat jumpa je, i feel safe, i feel good. Tapi bila jumpa aku buat hal. Merajuk, dan cari pasal. Bila dah nak sampai masa kena balik, aku rasa sedih. Rasa sayu nak tinggal dia. Tak boleh jauh lama-lama. I'll be missing him like crazy. Sadis. -___-
Last weekend was the best. 2 days full with activites. Of course dengan Aizat. Letih macam mana pun dia, he still trying his best to give the best for me. Walaupun dia garang, tapi dia penyayang. Dan, penyabar. It is just me. The spoiler. Tsk.
Oh yes, entri kali ni memang cerita pasal love life je kan? Sebab memang tengah in that kind of mood pun. Maklumla baru balik bercinta. :) I miss him already.
Oh and, please move faster. 3 bulan je lagi. Tak lama lagi dah.
Esok jugak aku nak isi internal transfer form. Nak pindah ikut Aizat ke Cheras. :)
Done with the Kursus Kahwin last 2 weeks. Bagus la juga diwajibkan untuk attend kursus ni before kahwin. Marriage is not about having it done in 1 day, tapi yang lebih penting is that the life after the marriage. We have to get ready for that. Itu yang lebih penting dari berhabis beria just untuk satu hari, kan?
I'm glad to know that we both are now ready for the future. Hopefully everything will be fine nanti. Kadang-kadang ada juga aku terfikir, mampu ke aku untuk jadi seorang isteri yang baik untuk dia? Sebab yang aku perasan since kami engaged ni, i am too sensitive. Hal-hal kecil pun aku besar-besarkan. Bukan aku tak try to change it but sometimes i cant control my anger. Kesian Aizat. He's too good to me. Bersabar dan layan je kerenah aku. I'm so sorry dear. I'll try to change to be better, for us. InsyaAllah.
Setiap kali aku spend masa dengan Aizat and when it comes to an end, mesti aku rasa sayu gila. Aku rasa tak boleh berenggang dengan dia. Yes, being apart to each other seriously tak best. Just bila dapat jumpa je, i feel safe, i feel good. Tapi bila jumpa aku buat hal. Merajuk, dan cari pasal. Bila dah nak sampai masa kena balik, aku rasa sedih. Rasa sayu nak tinggal dia. Tak boleh jauh lama-lama. I'll be missing him like crazy. Sadis. -___-
Last weekend was the best. 2 days full with activites. Of course dengan Aizat. Letih macam mana pun dia, he still trying his best to give the best for me. Walaupun dia garang, tapi dia penyayang. Dan, penyabar. It is just me. The spoiler. Tsk.
Oh yes, entri kali ni memang cerita pasal love life je kan? Sebab memang tengah in that kind of mood pun. Maklumla baru balik bercinta. :) I miss him already.
Oh and, please move faster. 3 bulan je lagi. Tak lama lagi dah.
Esok jugak aku nak isi internal transfer form. Nak pindah ikut Aizat ke Cheras. :)
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Orang gila
Kadang-kadang ada benda yang perlu kita simpan, jangan diluah, jangan dilontar. Jangan.
Bila semua benda yang kita lontar, kita luah, pasti akan berbalik pada kita bila sampai masa.
Tak payah nak hairan, semua orang boleh jadi orang gila.
Aku mungkin salah seorang.
Terpekik terlolong diam-diam pendam dalam hati.
Menjerit meracau diam-diam terperosok dalam jiwa.
Sadis. Tapi itu bahasa puitis kan?
Kau baca, kau simpan sudah.
Tak payah nak lontar balik.
Aku dah penat nak layan.
Bila semua benda yang kita lontar, kita luah, pasti akan berbalik pada kita bila sampai masa.
Tak payah nak hairan, semua orang boleh jadi orang gila.
Aku mungkin salah seorang.
Terpekik terlolong diam-diam pendam dalam hati.
Menjerit meracau diam-diam terperosok dalam jiwa.
Sadis. Tapi itu bahasa puitis kan?
Kau baca, kau simpan sudah.
Tak payah nak lontar balik.
Aku dah penat nak layan.
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
Endless
Some days it seems like it'll never end. Like there's just too much to do.
The reality of the situation is, you'll never be finished. If you finish all the work you've got to do, you'll find more to do. You can never really reach the end.
So accept that. Be ok with it. Find the peace you're looking for in the now. In this moment.
Right now. Every now.
The reality of the situation is, you'll never be finished. If you finish all the work you've got to do, you'll find more to do. You can never really reach the end.
So accept that. Be ok with it. Find the peace you're looking for in the now. In this moment.
Right now. Every now.
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
Depressed
It's been a while,kan? Tak sempat nak update since after raya too many things happened. Ada jugak few posts yang sempat aku tulis, but then i didn't publish it sebab macam dah basi sikit dah cerita tu. Lately ni banyak sangat benda jadi so tak tahu mana yang harus mula dulu.
Dah hampir seminggu aku tinggal seorang diri di Penang. Kakak had been offered to further her study for PhD di USM Kelantan. So, i have no more housemate, and yea..seriously boring gila duduk sorang-sorang, especially weekend..dulu ada kakak yang boleh jugak borak-borak masa tengok tv, habis kerja beli makanan siap-siap and then lepas maghrib boleh makan sama-sama. Kadang-kadang kakak masakkan makan malam, and we ate them all together, seriously boleh nangis kot bila fikir semua tu dah totally different sekarang. I seriously miss my sister soooo much. -__-
I've been offered a new post di IWK Penang unit. Tougher than my current post. Tapi itu arrangement bos sebab actually officer yang hold post tu had been upgraded to a higher level so tempat tu dah vacant sekarang. And actually, dah ada pun orang untuk isi tempat vacant tu, but then the bos wanted me to take that post. Sekarang the new officer dah report duty pun last Monday, and then no black and white saying that i'll be taking that post, so sekarang dah jadi confuse tau tak. Am i going to take that new place tak pun just continue with my current post or that new officer will be taking my place pun tak sure lagi. Yang lebih worse tahu tak, boss wanted me to cover 2 department since the new officer still new so he don't know much how to handle things. Memang lah kan, nama pun baru. Tapi aku dah macam miserable gila. Pagi cover satu department, petang aku cover another department. Memang kelat je muka 2 hari ni. Lunch pun tak sempat, seriously memang diuji gila-gila. Harap-harap semua ni dapat settle within this week, hopefully.
Ada yang cakap aku tak tetap pendirian, kejap nak ini kejap nak itu. Masalahnya takkan aku nak pandai-pandai lepas current post bagi dekat budak baru and then buat macam biasa sedangkan banyak gila kerja pending, serabut sangat-sangat rasa. Kejap suruh buat ini, bila pending cakap aku buat kerja slow, do they know how hard am i handling 2 departments at the same time? Underestimate aku pulak tu kadang-kadang, 'seriously, do you know how to handle this?' Kalau tak yakin dengan ability aku, then don't let me handle that. Kan senang.
Aku bersyukur sebab boss yakin dengan kemampuan kerja aku, but then apa yang dia expect? in 2 days aku boleh major in everything? Baru lepas thumb print dah call suruh settle this, handle that. And then shoot email suruh settle pasal budget la i am soooooooooo tired tahu tak. I can't wait for this coming weekend, nak balik rumah and leave everything behind first. Seriously cannot cope so far. Agak-agakla kan?
Harap-harap masalah ni dapat selesai dan aku boleh focus on what i'm supposed to do. Doakan kawan-kawan.
Aku depressed.
Dah hampir seminggu aku tinggal seorang diri di Penang. Kakak had been offered to further her study for PhD di USM Kelantan. So, i have no more housemate, and yea..seriously boring gila duduk sorang-sorang, especially weekend..dulu ada kakak yang boleh jugak borak-borak masa tengok tv, habis kerja beli makanan siap-siap and then lepas maghrib boleh makan sama-sama. Kadang-kadang kakak masakkan makan malam, and we ate them all together, seriously boleh nangis kot bila fikir semua tu dah totally different sekarang. I seriously miss my sister soooo much. -__-
I've been offered a new post di IWK Penang unit. Tougher than my current post. Tapi itu arrangement bos sebab actually officer yang hold post tu had been upgraded to a higher level so tempat tu dah vacant sekarang. And actually, dah ada pun orang untuk isi tempat vacant tu, but then the bos wanted me to take that post. Sekarang the new officer dah report duty pun last Monday, and then no black and white saying that i'll be taking that post, so sekarang dah jadi confuse tau tak. Am i going to take that new place tak pun just continue with my current post or that new officer will be taking my place pun tak sure lagi. Yang lebih worse tahu tak, boss wanted me to cover 2 department since the new officer still new so he don't know much how to handle things. Memang lah kan, nama pun baru. Tapi aku dah macam miserable gila. Pagi cover satu department, petang aku cover another department. Memang kelat je muka 2 hari ni. Lunch pun tak sempat, seriously memang diuji gila-gila. Harap-harap semua ni dapat settle within this week, hopefully.
Ada yang cakap aku tak tetap pendirian, kejap nak ini kejap nak itu. Masalahnya takkan aku nak pandai-pandai lepas current post bagi dekat budak baru and then buat macam biasa sedangkan banyak gila kerja pending, serabut sangat-sangat rasa. Kejap suruh buat ini, bila pending cakap aku buat kerja slow, do they know how hard am i handling 2 departments at the same time? Underestimate aku pulak tu kadang-kadang, 'seriously, do you know how to handle this?' Kalau tak yakin dengan ability aku, then don't let me handle that. Kan senang.
Aku bersyukur sebab boss yakin dengan kemampuan kerja aku, but then apa yang dia expect? in 2 days aku boleh major in everything? Baru lepas thumb print dah call suruh settle this, handle that. And then shoot email suruh settle pasal budget la i am soooooooooo tired tahu tak. I can't wait for this coming weekend, nak balik rumah and leave everything behind first. Seriously cannot cope so far. Agak-agakla kan?
Harap-harap masalah ni dapat selesai dan aku boleh focus on what i'm supposed to do. Doakan kawan-kawan.
Aku depressed.
Saturday, August 27, 2011
Dear Mr Future
May I see the things in front of me as they are, not as I think them to be.
May I walk the steps ahead of me one at a time, not wondering if there's a map.
May I say the things that fix things, not break them further apart.
May I do what I need to do, not be distracted by what I can't.
May I dream of what I hope for, not of what I fear.
May I love you like I love you, not as any other, me.
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
Mencari syukur dalam tiap-tiap dugaan Tuhan
Orang cakap jangan terlalu dicanang, nanti tak jadi. Betul, sesak rasa sebak dada.
Mahu ambil jantung keluar dari jasad
Mengharap jantung tak berdegup begitu kencang bila di luar jasad
Lelah aku lemah
sebak aku sesak
Jari menghitung masa
Mata tak henti-henti tatap waktu
Hati.
Tak henti-henti sumbat sabar
-rindupadayangitu-
Mahu ambil jantung keluar dari jasad
Mengharap jantung tak berdegup begitu kencang bila di luar jasad
Lelah aku lemah
sebak aku sesak
Jari menghitung masa
Mata tak henti-henti tatap waktu
Hati.
Tak henti-henti sumbat sabar
-rindupadayangitu-
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