Mother's love & Random (ver.3)

"A mother's love for her child is like nothing else in the world. It knows no law, no pity, it dares all things and crushes down remorselessly all that stands in its path." - Agatha Christie

I still remember a quote saying that a woman does not know her capacity to love until she has a child and that is how I feel with my Aneeq. Seeing him growing up with my own eyes, all the hard things- sleepless night, heart-break when he's got cold/fever and etc; for me, it makes the love even stronger. How strong I was to face that difficulties and the hardship, I will always feel proud of myself and of course that’s the awesome thing about a mother’s love, there’s always room for more :')

Aizat was reading my blog last night and he said, "Amboi, sekarang semua post blog cerita pasal Aneeq eh..", with a smile on his face-like macam perli pun ada. Wehee. I don't know what to reply. I just give him a big smile on my face and said nothing..sorry love. :)

Hmmmmppp, but then, to be honest..yang sebenarnya aku sanggaaaattt addicted with Aneeq. Seriously. Apa dia buat, berguling, bergolek, berpusing, menonggek semua mesti nak tengok. My eyes caught on him. Melekat macam ada gam. Sometimes I will feel like I'm not doing a good job in raising my kid. There are easy days when your kids seem like the angel that they deep down really are. But there are bad days - that make you question your judgment, your method, your beliefs - that makes you question yourself: Am I doing the right thing? I know I’m not the only one. Kan?

Adapting myself into motherhood life is not something easy. It's hard but I think all of the mommies are actually love it kot. Mana nak masak lagi, kemas rumah lagi, dengan Aneeq's need on my ketiak lah, calling 'maammaa-mammmaa' lagi la..there are a lotsssss of things to do at the same time! Alhamdulillah so far everything went well even tho diuji sangat hebat dengan Aneeq got his chicken pox at the age of 6months! Luckily husband was there, holding my hands and fully support me when I was down. Thanks abg! See, I'm writing about you in this post, not just about Aneeq. Hehe. Love you soooo much! :)

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I actually so damn excited waiting for my coming soon niece(kot?nephew pun okay.hee)expected inshaAllah this coming July. Aaaa best dapat bau bayi sebab it comes from heaven. Bau syurga kan..hee..Aneeq dah bau masam dah sebab dah grown up fast! Bila bercakap dengan Aneeq especially bila aku membebel, I feel like I'm talking to a big boy sebab he will stare at me like he actually faham la kot. Haha. Comel sangat!

Haa remember about my last post about our vacation that supposed to be any date in June, actually we ended up went back to Alor Star. Hahaha. Actually, awal-awal tu..Aizat was thinking of going to Gold Coast Morib, but then bila dia nak booked the room, surprisingly all rooms are fully booked for June! Cameron is boring, Aizat la cakap. So ding dong here and there ingatkan our vacation will just be nothing, but then last 2 weeks la on Friday, Aizat came back from work and he went to bed early malam tu because he was too tired. And me on the other hand,was playing with Aneeq je la kan..suddenly it was 11pm, Aizat woke up and then he said, "Jom balik Alor Staq'..I was like, seriously? Bila?

"Sekarang."

I was so happy and melompat-lompat dengan Aneeq. Hahaha. Quickly I ran to my room and just took whatever stuffs that important including Aneeq's stuff and we went back to Alor Star at 1am. My mom was really shocked. Haha..our sweet escape. :) Ok la kot..dari membazir pegi travel ke sana sini but we ended went back to my kampung jenguk orang tua. Hehe. Thanks hubby..:)

Ok la, will update in the next post. See ya! :)

Home made solid food

Alhamdulillah, Aneeq now can slowly accept my home-made-food even though yea, sometimes it depends on his mood jugak. So to be safe, setiap hari aku akan prepare semi-solid food which is blended nasi with kentang plus bayam. So far he's doing fine.. Aku tak letak expectation tinggi pun kat Aneeq, rileks sudah. Tak habis semangkuk pun takpa sayang..6-7 spoons per each meal pun dah great for mama. Slowly learn..

Tapi, kadang-kadang mood awang ni tak dapat dijangka jugak. Ada hari yang Aneeq totally refused my home made food. Taktau paseipa. Aku buat macam selalu yang aku buat jugak..tapi bear in mind, jangan paksa anak makan. I did some research jugak la through internet, kalau force baby to eat whatever things that had been prepared, at one time dia akan trauma pulak nak makan. Nak makan pun takut, ngeri kot macam tu. So that's why I took a step back..loosen up sikit dengan preparation introducing Aneeq dengan makanan even aku sumpah sangat excited nak menyuap dia makan since dia 5 bulan lagi. Hmmmph! 0__-

Jadi, untuk cuba mengenyangkan Aneeq even after dia reject bubur aku buat, aku cuba cari what other things yang Aneeq suka. I've tried a lot seriously. Tapi tak da la sampai aku give up, it is just that sampai tahap aku try introduce Aneeq dengan nestum. Wehehee. What? Mati akal kot! lol, I am not a kind of mother yang sanggup biar anak lapar just to follow all the rules, like 'say no to nestum' ka whatever. Anak aku reject bubuq aku buat kot.

But surprisingly, semua jenis nestum di pasaran also being rejected by Aneeq. Lagi mati akai! Sekarang ni kalau Aneeq makan nestum pun tanpa dia sedar. Hahaha. Aku campuq sikit dalam susu dia. Tebuk sikit lubang puting..minum ok jaaaaaa..saja akai Aneeq tu..heh!

Luckily Aneeq sangat suka dengan biskut Farley. I bet it is because of the taste kot. Biskut tu kan manis..aku hat besaq ni makan pun sedap jugak rasa. Hehe. So macam aku cakap tadi, to be safe..instead of preparing Aneeq with the bubur, aku dah stand by siap-siap biskut farley dan nestum kat rumah babysitter. Kalau dia not in the mood of eating the bubur, aku minta pengasuh dia cairkan biskut tu or campurkan nestum dalam susu Aneeq. Either or la..at least he wont just depends on the milk only, ada topup sikit here and there. Bubur pun nak yang panas-suam gitu haaa..so aku beli termos untuk keep the food warm. Demand tak anak aku? Baru 6 bulan dah pandai demand. Keh3

But then it's still okay for me. Aku rasa enjoy je layan kerenah Aneeq. Dia belum dapat adapt lagi kot dengan semi-solid food. Dia dok ingat susu aku paling sedap dalam dunia kot. Hahahaa.





My love, my everything. Sampai mati. :)

His very first semi-solid food

I never thought that to start Aneeq with his first semi-solid food could be this hard. For now his semi-solid food is only bubur nasi + kentang. No puree until to date. He refused to eat, dengan buat muka nak muntah segala bagai, dengan muka buat-buat nangis macam kena cubit, he did everything just to make me give up. Haih

But still, luckily Aneeq still nak jugak la makan bubur nasi + kentang tu..kalau plain bubur lagi laaaaa..bukan setakat buat-buat muntah, memang dia muntah sungguh! Yes, no added sugar/salt or etc. Memangla tawar, but he is only 6m kot..what do you expect my dear Aneeq? Nak makan KFC Spicy Korean? Memang tak la! Huh

At one point aku rasa so demotivated. Rasa macam, hai la anak..nak mama buat macam mana lagi ni? Yes..baru 5 days kan.. That's why I have to make my so-called-innocent face everytime aku suap Aneeq makan lepas 5,6 sudu tu dia ketap bibir tak mau bagi sudu masuk dalam mulut. Tension betul dengan budak kenit ni.

Hari ni berazam nak start menu baru dekat Aneeq. I bought him broccoli and sweet potato. Kita try buat puree pulak ye sayang. 4-days rule dah passed! Bubur nasi + kentang dah on. Let's try on something else.

First menu : Bubur nasi + kentang = passed
Second menu : Sweet potato + brocolli = ?

Will be updated soonnnnnn.

*hopefully*

Wish me luck!

Random things ver.2

Aneeq is half a year old now, which means I've been breastfeeding him for 6 months already. Mission accomplished! Alhamdulillah. But yea, will still continue doing the 'bf-ing' work since I enjoy doing it so muchhhh. Hehe. Let's check on Aneeq's progress. 1. He’s got an impressive set of skills. Well by now, he can imitate sounds, 2. blow bubbles and 3. roll both from front to back and back to front. How fast time flies! Seeeeeeee :)

Not to forget, Aneeq nak tumbuh gigiiiii! Patutla dia asyik menggigit je sekarang ni. Phew, so many things happened lately and I don't know which one to start. But it is all about Aneeq and I'm glad that I didn't miss any moment of his development.

Worst thing happened was last month, my car got stolen. Dang! I just don't want to make it too detail in here, because I don't want to think about that anymore. Let's move on, yeh!

Nightmare happened last week when Aneeq got infected with chicken pox! Menangis aku. But my strong boy, Aneeq tak menangis, meragam jauh sekali. Redha je bila pakai calamine lotion and makan ubat demam. Alhamdulillah scar almost none. :). Me and Aizat both applied EL for a week. Takda sapa nak jaga Aneeq..tok-tok semua dok jauh. Berkorban demi anak tak apa..setahun kena cuti pun aku tak kisah. Hehe.

So now Aneeq dah almost fully recover. Ada sikit-sikit lagi dekat lutut. Scar dekat muka takda, tangan clear, badan superb..Syukurla, dugaan Allah. And hopefully Aneeq akan dipelihara dari virus-virus jahat ni lepas ni. Kena chicken pox ni pun sebab berjangkit dengan budak dekat rumah babysitter dia. Tu la risiko yang parents macam aku ni kena tanggung..huhu

Ok, sedikit busy since I left work for a week..so work mode is on!

Oh yea, we are expecting to have a vacation by early next month. Hubby pass semua bab-bab detailing on vacation ni dekat aku so yeah, nanti nak tengok tempat mana yang menarik. Definitely dalam Malaysia je la. I don't want to take the risk of taking Aneeq outside the country with so many diseases lately. In fact dia pun baru je sembuh dari chicken pox. Huhu.

Cameron maybe?

:)

My precious

There are a million important things to do. But none as important as lying here next to you.


Mama loves you, baby.

Ahmad Aneeq bin Ahmad Aizat, 4 months 1 week 2 days old. :)

Anak itu Rezeki

Actually I have tonnes of works to do by now but seriously I really have something that I need to jot down here.

I had my lunch with few staffs just now. We were just discussing on random things until one of us said something which..I don't agree at all. Well, yea I know different people would have different opinion but still, I can't accept it.

The topic is about babies. They actually were asking about Aneeq, so yea there's a lot to share if you ask me. Hehe. But then when I was talking about Aneeq bla and bla suddenly this girl (one of my friends also la), which actually just got married about 2-3 months ago, said that she's not ready to conceive/to have her own baby yet. She said that she would try not to get pregnant or 'bunting pelamin' la kot, for reasons that she's not ready, financial condition not stable, worrying that the preparation of having own baby will cost her a lot and etc. I was just sat there, and said nothing. I really wondered what is actually on her mind when she said that. She don't like kids or what?

So I asked her, " How about your husband? Not ready too?"

She said YES. They both are not ready. Satu sebab diorang PJJ. Okayla aku cakap. PJJ adakah means kurang kasih sayang to each other? Weekend husband and wife, so? Tak da masalah pun pada aku personally. Dah la cakap macam tu, boleh pulak add on yang they are actually planning on having the so-called honeymoon for about a year , travelling, dating and you name it la before preparing themselves to have their own baby.

Seriously, I hate that statement. Kenapa kalau dah kawin, dah ada anak, tak boleh honeymoon? Takut tak ada privacy? Hell noooo! I was bunting pelamin jugak, PJJ jugak (masa tu) but it never make me and Aizat feel less on each other pun. In fact, we still went for midnight movies, dating dekat Queensbay tepi laut tu, macam-macam lagi yang dibuat all the while aku mengandung tu. We both were really excited masa nak check gender baby, nak tahu baby growth and etc. Aku in fact macam nak gila kot when I had spotting takut miscarriage apa semua. I know, itu pendapat aku..tapi perlu ka nak cakap yang bila ada baby hidup kita akan susah? Financial akan goyah? WTheck man.

Macam-macam pulak dia bagi alasan lepas tu. Mahal la bersalin dekat private. Nak kena spend almost 10k for that purpose only. Aku dah macam..kalau dah rasa itu beban, go and deliver dekat hospital la. Bukan mahal mana pun. Cakap taknak. Service government hospital out. Mana kau tau? Aku elok je, Alhamdulillah. Susah la bila deal dengan orang yang still nak stay in the denial state. Susaaaahhh.

Seriously, I am not regret for having my own son at early stage of my marriage. I feel blessed. I am proud of it. Aku rasa dihormati di sana sini. Aku rasa bangga dapat dukung anak aku ke mana-mana aku pergi. Aku rasa rezeki aku semakin melimpah ruah dengan adanya Aneeq. Aku bangga. Betul.

Aku teringat Ustaz Azhar pernah kata something like: Kalau plan to not have kids sebab takut tak cukup duit(miskin) tu tak boleh, sebab the Quran says "..kill not your children because of poverty'-We provide sustenance for you and for them-"[6:151].

"..Kamilah yang memberi rezeki kepadamu dan kepada mereka.."[6:151].

Of course, it is not that you're killing anyone, but I kinda thought it'd be nice to know about that matter/issue in this kind of perspective. Kan?

I reaaalllly wish that the girl will read this. Harap-harap.

Random

Since I have a bit of free time, might as well I jot something down, even though they are random and there's really nothing on my mind right now.

Thinking back, during my early years in this profession, I did overtime 5-6 times per month at least which was quite normal to me( even though I can't claim on the OT for reason of executives are not allowed to claim on OT, like what the heck I have tonnes of work to do so I have to -__-). It didn't affect me much, even socially. Mother always wondered how can I still be energetic most of the time. I still don't know how I did it. I was not yet married at that time. Must be because of I'm living with my sister in Penang, nothing much I can do when I get back home kot.

Nowadays, I am so sick of it. The funny thing is, it is less busy now since I've moved up the career ladder and changed work place. I think it is because of being a working mother, I have to fetch Aneeq and then back to home do the house chores, cook for dinner, have some quality time with husband and Aneeq so I just feel like, stay back in the office after working hours is just a waste of time. Hehe

I still remember, about 4 months after I started working, I really enjoyed the responsibilty. I was like a SuperWoman. One day, I was doing work all by myself, no one helped me even though there were tonnes to do. I didn't ask for help, because to me, I don't need to, if they were nice enough, they would help me because I always helped them. Karma tells me I should get back what I give.

So, nobody helped me. But my hard work didn't go unnoticed. My boss saw my struggle, so he gathered us in a room, and he questioned them one by one, what they were doing, when they saw me working so hard.

At last, I kindly defended them, I said, "It's not their fault, Boss, I was the one who didn't ask for help."

My boss stood there, quiet, then he said clearly, "This is the kind of friend you want to keep for the rest of your life."

Chewaaahh...!

This boss was known to be as one of the most fierce/ most strict around. Since that day, he was always so nice to me. That day, he even gave me an hour off to freshen up and scolded my staff for burdening me with even the tiniest thing.

But then, sekarang ni..Tak kuasa aku nak tolong orang yang tak tolong aku. I know it's bad lah, tak boleh lah nak revenge revenge kan, but enough bullying me! Boss dekat sini tengok on paper je pun, bukan dia fikir kita buat kerja macam mana..as long as the work is settle within our LOS ( level of service). Boss baru ni agak relax jugak kadang-kadang but then quite pushy when it comes to something that urgent. Normal la tu kan, bila dah urgent baru nak kalut. Hehe. But seriously, I kinda like this new place..no stress, happy, convenient dan dekat dengan rumah babysitter Aneeq dan rumah aku sendiri. 15 minit je dari rumah -> rumah pengasuh Aneeq -> tempat kerja. Syukur-syukur. Hehe.

I've worked in a multiracial environment before, and never in my life that I felt that I was being looked down at. In fact, I still keep in touch with my Chinese/ Indian/ Malay/friends from my previous workplace. And, we still hate the same Chinese/ Indian/ Malay, not because of his/ her race, but because of the attitude. Kalau dah lazy, kerja tah apa-apa, berlagak pulak tu, mestilah mazmumah dan patut dibenci kan...dan bagi aku it is not about the race. Kena cermin diri balik, how good we are to condemn people..before we start condemning other people, look at ourselves..bagus kah kita?

Perhaps people look down on you not because you are a Malay, but because of your mentality or attitude or your behaviour, have you ever thought about that?

The boss who defended me (as told above) was an Chinese oldman (kekekeke). The colleagues who didn't help me (as told above) were Chinese/ Indian/ Malay.

Buktikan yang kita boleh, bukan stuck di zon selesa. Takde kena mengena dengan bangsa, unless you are indeed a racist.

To me, working in a multiracial environment is better, because indirectly, I would feel a sense of responsibility not to embarrass my race/ religion. Jadi, kita pun become a better person.

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Haha! Aku ni lagi laa..

My zon selesa tetap di Pandan Indah. I tell you to get out from your comfort zone, but I myself insist to return to my comfort zone. (Peace!)

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Oh, well.


Aku sekarang memang dah tak suka kerja susah-susah. Pegi kerja pukul 8pagi balik pukul 5petang. Thats it. Ambil Aneeq dari babysitter, balik rumah penyek-penyek Aneeq kejap, and if Aneeq mood baik boleh la terus start masak kalau tak okay kena layan dia sampai dia tidur. Malam lepas Maghrib la baru start masak jawabnya. And being me, after getting married and have my own son, aku sangat rajin masak. I even asked Aizat not to worry on what to eat for dinner sebab I will make it done cuma kadang-kadang aku serabut jugak nak masak apa pastu put the blame on Aizat sebab dia jenis tak kisah nak makan apa. Hahaha.


Oh my life is so good to me. Thank you. Terima kasih Tuhan. Alhamdulillah. :)