Happy (belated) 1st birthday Ahmad Aneeq!

Aneeq dah 1 tahun! MasyaAllah, I can't believe a whole year has gone by since I gave birth seriously. A lot has happened, in his life, mine and Aizat's. But we enjoyed it so much dan semestinya we both will miss Aneeq when he was a baby (still a baby even now) yang completely unable to do anything on his own, yang suka berjaga malam, yang suka terkebil-kebil mata dan sukaaa buat muka nangis-tapinakgelak tu.

Some people said that the first year is the hardest year. I have to agree with that. Tempoh pembesaran Aneeq dari lepas pantang since I brought him to stay with me and Aizat in KL without Mom's help and etc, seriously sangat mencabar. Demam panas, demam campak, pengasuh itu ini lagi, susah betul nak cope dengan whole things that happened within a year, but we managed to do it. Eventhough work performance this year dropped gila-gila tapi macam tak menyesal sangat sebab rasa macam worth it. Hehe. It is a huge achievement for me sebab masa first time bagitau mak my intention to bring Aneeq with me in KL her reaction masa tu macam..'boleh ke budak ni jaga cucu aku?'. Hee so sweet my mom kannn. Dia punya protective sytle tu sampai ke cucu pun dia nak jugak suruh duduk bawah ketiak dia. Baru selamat agaknya. Tehehee..

Perkembangan Aneeq so far Alhamdulillah..he turns out to be a very very veryyy super active boy. He started to walk when he was 11 months old. Masa tu dia jalan jatuh dalam 3,4 steps je. Then aku and Aizat saja-saja bawak Aneeq pegi taman tempat orang jogging and ada playground for kids just nak expose Aneeq dengan new environment je. Ye la dunia dia just di rumah babysitter then balik mengadap aku and Aizat je. So we both think that it is a suitable time for him to know more about the world. His world not just involving me, his abah and his babysitter, there are more people out there, more things to learn. Aneeq sangat happy okay..dia tak pernah tengok budak sebaya dia yang dah boleh berjalan kot sebab kat rumah babysitter Aneeq takda lagi baby yang age 1 year ++ yang dah boleh jalan that's why aku assumed Aneeq tak rasa macam nak challenge diri sendiri to walk by himself sebab dia takda saingan. Dia banyak crawling je sebelum ni. Tapi brought him to the park was a right thing to do seriously! Balik je dari taman tu, malam tu dia bersungguh-sungguh nak berjalan. He refused to take my hand when being offered, he wanted to do it all by himself. Malam tu jugak Aneeq boleh berjalan dengan sebanyaakkk banyaaakk tapak nya eventho ya,shaking here and there. But still, I am a happy mommmyyyyyy :)

Teething symptoms pulak..So far Aneeq already has 4 and half upper teeth..haha yang half tu sebab gigi tak tumbuh habis lagi..he has 4 on bottom and I just realized this morning that his first molar teeth on bottom right is just appeared..terkejut gila kot..sebab aku rasa macam tak sedar yang anak aku dah besar rupanya. Still seeing him as my little tiny baby boy lepas deliver last year. Subhanallah..cepat betul masa berlalu..

Actually this post is supposed to be published on his first birthday..tapi faham-faham la dengan workload bagai..satu perenggan satu hari. Haha.

Well, happy birthday to my son, Ahmad Aneeq bin Ahmad Aizat. Mama doakan Aneeq sentiasa sihat dan dilindungi Allah selalu. Semoga menjadi anak yang soleh,baik dan cerdik pandai. Amin.

^___^

Less in a month. Yeyyy

It's October and less in a month, Aneeq will turn 1 year old! I can't believe that time flies so damn fast and it seems to be soooo unreal. Don't you think so?
-__-

What to update about Aneeq? My last update when he was about 7-8 months old I guess? Ok let's just leave it be. Well by now, Aneeq still has the separation anxiety when I'm not around. It is actually lesser that before, but still he has it. But it's ok for me then..at least I know that he knows that I am his mother. Kekeke

Speaking of babbling, he’s starting to pay closer attention to grown up talk. He copies the inflection I use when I speak. His favorite word is dada, mama and dada. He now can wave goodbye even to strangers(that's good) and clapping hands. Hee :)

He is also able to walk while holding onto furniture, well we called it as 'cruising' kot? He loves walking while pushing his walker and can stand for a few seconds by himself(and walk 2-3 steps ahead), but he's a careful boy and know he fall less while crawling so that's why he more prefer to crawl rather than to learn how to walk. Gesshhh -___-

He is currently now has 5 top teeths and 4 bottom ones. Expected more to come since he lovesssss to bite. Huhuhu..

But it's ok..he's in a learning process and...yeah..he is into everythinggggggg.


:)

Dilemma

I think me and Aizat are having a big problem right now. Haha well it is about Aneeq again! Walla..

His babysitter is asking to take a full week off after raya to go back to her hometown, if I'm not mistaken in Terengganu kot. Jujurnya, my annual leave tinggal 8 hari sahaja lagi ( tak tolak cuti raya lagi tu weh!) which I've spent half of my annual leave before because of Aneeq jugak last time masa dia kena chicken pox, demam, babysitter mintak cutilah and etc etc. Haih.

Imagine that how could I survive with 8 days left until end of Dec? Dengan nak raya lagi...raya haji lagi..and not included untuk any random things that might happened in the next coming months lagi..adoi I am really in trouble seriously. wakakaa

I was thinking to let Aneeq with my mom in Alor Setar for that period while me and Aizat will back to KL and working as usual. It might sounds easy..since my mom is actually waiting for this moment for quite some time already. Haha. She loves Aneeq to the max I would say! Tapi tapi..it is just me..I can't stand a day without seeing Aneeq so tak mungkin aku mampu bertahan without seeing Aneeq for that at least 3 days..I will go crazy man! :(

One more thing about his milk la of course. Berapa bekas aku nak bawak to support him while I'm not there? I mean, tak boleh nak agak jugak sebab when he sleeps especially waktu malam, he refused to get feed with the bottle. He wants his mama jugak..aku tak sure how Aneeq will be nanti sebab kami tak pernah berpisah even for a day! Sobs sobs

Serabut la..

Rasa macam nak resign sekarang jugak. Haha

Separation Anxiety - Aneeq

It's Julyyyyy everyone! Time flies so fast and Ramadhan is just less than a week. I can't wait for this fasting month since this is the first year I'll be celebrating it with my husband and my little man. Last year I was still in Penang while husband in KL and at that time my little man still in my tummmy and was approaching 6 months kot. That's why I am so excited ok! :)

As I mentioned in my previous posts about Aneeq's first solid food, by now I think Aneeq is getting better in adapting his food kot. I mean, he's doing great! Alhamdulillah, he likes to eat now even though there are times when I have to be like a hulk since Aneeq intentionally refused whatever things that I've prepared. But then he will come back to me dengan muka lapar meminta bantuan kecemasan hoping that I will feed him with my milk. Akai macam-macam!

Well, he is now 7 months plus and yeah..he's getting smarter and like a new little observer in the house. He likes to observe whatever things in the house with the ability of rolling, and style of crawling. Gaya tu ada, tapi belum melangkah merangkak lagi. He can sit without support but we have to put him in sitting position first since he don't know how to sit on his own yet but I think that is huge development for him. Alhamdulillah. :)

He is now got 2 batang gigi bawah and we are expecting 2 more dekat bahagian atas. Rasa gums dia dah keras and maybe in the next 3 weeks boleh complete 2 batang gigi atas bawah kot. Hehe cuteness overload la macam tu..how fast he grows up! Pheww rasa macam tak boleh keep up but Mama still doing it right. Hahaha

At the age of 7 months ni, Aneeq is showing signs of separation anxiety. Separation anxiety is a normal emotional stage of developement that starts when babies begin to understand that things and people exist even when they are not present. It means like, whenever I leave the room, Aneeq will know that I'm gone- and is able to picture and start to miss me like I'm leaving him for forever. Nangis macam kena cubit. Even he is already sleep in the night, safe and sound..he will wake up periodically not just for the milk but also to make sure that I was there and I believe that this is caused by the anxiety stage- the two seem to be connected. Get what I mean? See for yourself when your baby is having this. -__-

But still, Aneeq is a gift from God and I am soooo proud to be his mummy. And I hope that he will be proud too having me and my husband as his parents. And his dad..loves him more than he loves himself. Aneeq is the most priority, and his everything. With the arms wide open, he will always be there with me and Aneeq..be at the front line, protecting us and work hard to feed us well. Alhamdulillah, Alhamdulillah..terima kasih Allah.

Harap masih terus layak diberi amanat memegang amanah ini. Amin.

Mother's love & Random (ver.3)

"A mother's love for her child is like nothing else in the world. It knows no law, no pity, it dares all things and crushes down remorselessly all that stands in its path." - Agatha Christie

I still remember a quote saying that a woman does not know her capacity to love until she has a child and that is how I feel with my Aneeq. Seeing him growing up with my own eyes, all the hard things- sleepless night, heart-break when he's got cold/fever and etc; for me, it makes the love even stronger. How strong I was to face that difficulties and the hardship, I will always feel proud of myself and of course that’s the awesome thing about a mother’s love, there’s always room for more :')

Aizat was reading my blog last night and he said, "Amboi, sekarang semua post blog cerita pasal Aneeq eh..", with a smile on his face-like macam perli pun ada. Wehee. I don't know what to reply. I just give him a big smile on my face and said nothing..sorry love. :)

Hmmmmppp, but then, to be honest..yang sebenarnya aku sanggaaaattt addicted with Aneeq. Seriously. Apa dia buat, berguling, bergolek, berpusing, menonggek semua mesti nak tengok. My eyes caught on him. Melekat macam ada gam. Sometimes I will feel like I'm not doing a good job in raising my kid. There are easy days when your kids seem like the angel that they deep down really are. But there are bad days - that make you question your judgment, your method, your beliefs - that makes you question yourself: Am I doing the right thing? I know I’m not the only one. Kan?

Adapting myself into motherhood life is not something easy. It's hard but I think all of the mommies are actually love it kot. Mana nak masak lagi, kemas rumah lagi, dengan Aneeq's need on my ketiak lah, calling 'maammaa-mammmaa' lagi la..there are a lotsssss of things to do at the same time! Alhamdulillah so far everything went well even tho diuji sangat hebat dengan Aneeq got his chicken pox at the age of 6months! Luckily husband was there, holding my hands and fully support me when I was down. Thanks abg! See, I'm writing about you in this post, not just about Aneeq. Hehe. Love you soooo much! :)

________________________


I actually so damn excited waiting for my coming soon niece(kot?nephew pun okay.hee)expected inshaAllah this coming July. Aaaa best dapat bau bayi sebab it comes from heaven. Bau syurga kan..hee..Aneeq dah bau masam dah sebab dah grown up fast! Bila bercakap dengan Aneeq especially bila aku membebel, I feel like I'm talking to a big boy sebab he will stare at me like he actually faham la kot. Haha. Comel sangat!

Haa remember about my last post about our vacation that supposed to be any date in June, actually we ended up went back to Alor Star. Hahaha. Actually, awal-awal tu..Aizat was thinking of going to Gold Coast Morib, but then bila dia nak booked the room, surprisingly all rooms are fully booked for June! Cameron is boring, Aizat la cakap. So ding dong here and there ingatkan our vacation will just be nothing, but then last 2 weeks la on Friday, Aizat came back from work and he went to bed early malam tu because he was too tired. And me on the other hand,was playing with Aneeq je la kan..suddenly it was 11pm, Aizat woke up and then he said, "Jom balik Alor Staq'..I was like, seriously? Bila?

"Sekarang."

I was so happy and melompat-lompat dengan Aneeq. Hahaha. Quickly I ran to my room and just took whatever stuffs that important including Aneeq's stuff and we went back to Alor Star at 1am. My mom was really shocked. Haha..our sweet escape. :) Ok la kot..dari membazir pegi travel ke sana sini but we ended went back to my kampung jenguk orang tua. Hehe. Thanks hubby..:)

Ok la, will update in the next post. See ya! :)

Home made solid food

Alhamdulillah, Aneeq now can slowly accept my home-made-food even though yea, sometimes it depends on his mood jugak. So to be safe, setiap hari aku akan prepare semi-solid food which is blended nasi with kentang plus bayam. So far he's doing fine.. Aku tak letak expectation tinggi pun kat Aneeq, rileks sudah. Tak habis semangkuk pun takpa sayang..6-7 spoons per each meal pun dah great for mama. Slowly learn..

Tapi, kadang-kadang mood awang ni tak dapat dijangka jugak. Ada hari yang Aneeq totally refused my home made food. Taktau paseipa. Aku buat macam selalu yang aku buat jugak..tapi bear in mind, jangan paksa anak makan. I did some research jugak la through internet, kalau force baby to eat whatever things that had been prepared, at one time dia akan trauma pulak nak makan. Nak makan pun takut, ngeri kot macam tu. So that's why I took a step back..loosen up sikit dengan preparation introducing Aneeq dengan makanan even aku sumpah sangat excited nak menyuap dia makan since dia 5 bulan lagi. Hmmmph! 0__-

Jadi, untuk cuba mengenyangkan Aneeq even after dia reject bubur aku buat, aku cuba cari what other things yang Aneeq suka. I've tried a lot seriously. Tapi tak da la sampai aku give up, it is just that sampai tahap aku try introduce Aneeq dengan nestum. Wehehee. What? Mati akal kot! lol, I am not a kind of mother yang sanggup biar anak lapar just to follow all the rules, like 'say no to nestum' ka whatever. Anak aku reject bubuq aku buat kot.

But surprisingly, semua jenis nestum di pasaran also being rejected by Aneeq. Lagi mati akai! Sekarang ni kalau Aneeq makan nestum pun tanpa dia sedar. Hahaha. Aku campuq sikit dalam susu dia. Tebuk sikit lubang puting..minum ok jaaaaaa..saja akai Aneeq tu..heh!

Luckily Aneeq sangat suka dengan biskut Farley. I bet it is because of the taste kot. Biskut tu kan manis..aku hat besaq ni makan pun sedap jugak rasa. Hehe. So macam aku cakap tadi, to be safe..instead of preparing Aneeq with the bubur, aku dah stand by siap-siap biskut farley dan nestum kat rumah babysitter. Kalau dia not in the mood of eating the bubur, aku minta pengasuh dia cairkan biskut tu or campurkan nestum dalam susu Aneeq. Either or la..at least he wont just depends on the milk only, ada topup sikit here and there. Bubur pun nak yang panas-suam gitu haaa..so aku beli termos untuk keep the food warm. Demand tak anak aku? Baru 6 bulan dah pandai demand. Keh3

But then it's still okay for me. Aku rasa enjoy je layan kerenah Aneeq. Dia belum dapat adapt lagi kot dengan semi-solid food. Dia dok ingat susu aku paling sedap dalam dunia kot. Hahahaa.





My love, my everything. Sampai mati. :)

His very first semi-solid food

I never thought that to start Aneeq with his first semi-solid food could be this hard. For now his semi-solid food is only bubur nasi + kentang. No puree until to date. He refused to eat, dengan buat muka nak muntah segala bagai, dengan muka buat-buat nangis macam kena cubit, he did everything just to make me give up. Haih

But still, luckily Aneeq still nak jugak la makan bubur nasi + kentang tu..kalau plain bubur lagi laaaaa..bukan setakat buat-buat muntah, memang dia muntah sungguh! Yes, no added sugar/salt or etc. Memangla tawar, but he is only 6m kot..what do you expect my dear Aneeq? Nak makan KFC Spicy Korean? Memang tak la! Huh

At one point aku rasa so demotivated. Rasa macam, hai la anak..nak mama buat macam mana lagi ni? Yes..baru 5 days kan.. That's why I have to make my so-called-innocent face everytime aku suap Aneeq makan lepas 5,6 sudu tu dia ketap bibir tak mau bagi sudu masuk dalam mulut. Tension betul dengan budak kenit ni.

Hari ni berazam nak start menu baru dekat Aneeq. I bought him broccoli and sweet potato. Kita try buat puree pulak ye sayang. 4-days rule dah passed! Bubur nasi + kentang dah on. Let's try on something else.

First menu : Bubur nasi + kentang = passed
Second menu : Sweet potato + brocolli = ?

Will be updated soonnnnnn.

*hopefully*

Wish me luck!

Random things ver.2

Aneeq is half a year old now, which means I've been breastfeeding him for 6 months already. Mission accomplished! Alhamdulillah. But yea, will still continue doing the 'bf-ing' work since I enjoy doing it so muchhhh. Hehe. Let's check on Aneeq's progress. 1. He’s got an impressive set of skills. Well by now, he can imitate sounds, 2. blow bubbles and 3. roll both from front to back and back to front. How fast time flies! Seeeeeeee :)

Not to forget, Aneeq nak tumbuh gigiiiii! Patutla dia asyik menggigit je sekarang ni. Phew, so many things happened lately and I don't know which one to start. But it is all about Aneeq and I'm glad that I didn't miss any moment of his development.

Worst thing happened was last month, my car got stolen. Dang! I just don't want to make it too detail in here, because I don't want to think about that anymore. Let's move on, yeh!

Nightmare happened last week when Aneeq got infected with chicken pox! Menangis aku. But my strong boy, Aneeq tak menangis, meragam jauh sekali. Redha je bila pakai calamine lotion and makan ubat demam. Alhamdulillah scar almost none. :). Me and Aizat both applied EL for a week. Takda sapa nak jaga Aneeq..tok-tok semua dok jauh. Berkorban demi anak tak apa..setahun kena cuti pun aku tak kisah. Hehe.

So now Aneeq dah almost fully recover. Ada sikit-sikit lagi dekat lutut. Scar dekat muka takda, tangan clear, badan superb..Syukurla, dugaan Allah. And hopefully Aneeq akan dipelihara dari virus-virus jahat ni lepas ni. Kena chicken pox ni pun sebab berjangkit dengan budak dekat rumah babysitter dia. Tu la risiko yang parents macam aku ni kena tanggung..huhu

Ok, sedikit busy since I left work for a week..so work mode is on!

Oh yea, we are expecting to have a vacation by early next month. Hubby pass semua bab-bab detailing on vacation ni dekat aku so yeah, nanti nak tengok tempat mana yang menarik. Definitely dalam Malaysia je la. I don't want to take the risk of taking Aneeq outside the country with so many diseases lately. In fact dia pun baru je sembuh dari chicken pox. Huhu.

Cameron maybe?

:)

My precious

There are a million important things to do. But none as important as lying here next to you.


Mama loves you, baby.

Ahmad Aneeq bin Ahmad Aizat, 4 months 1 week 2 days old. :)

Anak itu Rezeki

Actually I have tonnes of works to do by now but seriously I really have something that I need to jot down here.

I had my lunch with few staffs just now. We were just discussing on random things until one of us said something which..I don't agree at all. Well, yea I know different people would have different opinion but still, I can't accept it.

The topic is about babies. They actually were asking about Aneeq, so yea there's a lot to share if you ask me. Hehe. But then when I was talking about Aneeq bla and bla suddenly this girl (one of my friends also la), which actually just got married about 2-3 months ago, said that she's not ready to conceive/to have her own baby yet. She said that she would try not to get pregnant or 'bunting pelamin' la kot, for reasons that she's not ready, financial condition not stable, worrying that the preparation of having own baby will cost her a lot and etc. I was just sat there, and said nothing. I really wondered what is actually on her mind when she said that. She don't like kids or what?

So I asked her, " How about your husband? Not ready too?"

She said YES. They both are not ready. Satu sebab diorang PJJ. Okayla aku cakap. PJJ adakah means kurang kasih sayang to each other? Weekend husband and wife, so? Tak da masalah pun pada aku personally. Dah la cakap macam tu, boleh pulak add on yang they are actually planning on having the so-called honeymoon for about a year , travelling, dating and you name it la before preparing themselves to have their own baby.

Seriously, I hate that statement. Kenapa kalau dah kawin, dah ada anak, tak boleh honeymoon? Takut tak ada privacy? Hell noooo! I was bunting pelamin jugak, PJJ jugak (masa tu) but it never make me and Aizat feel less on each other pun. In fact, we still went for midnight movies, dating dekat Queensbay tepi laut tu, macam-macam lagi yang dibuat all the while aku mengandung tu. We both were really excited masa nak check gender baby, nak tahu baby growth and etc. Aku in fact macam nak gila kot when I had spotting takut miscarriage apa semua. I know, itu pendapat aku..tapi perlu ka nak cakap yang bila ada baby hidup kita akan susah? Financial akan goyah? WTheck man.

Macam-macam pulak dia bagi alasan lepas tu. Mahal la bersalin dekat private. Nak kena spend almost 10k for that purpose only. Aku dah macam..kalau dah rasa itu beban, go and deliver dekat hospital la. Bukan mahal mana pun. Cakap taknak. Service government hospital out. Mana kau tau? Aku elok je, Alhamdulillah. Susah la bila deal dengan orang yang still nak stay in the denial state. Susaaaahhh.

Seriously, I am not regret for having my own son at early stage of my marriage. I feel blessed. I am proud of it. Aku rasa dihormati di sana sini. Aku rasa bangga dapat dukung anak aku ke mana-mana aku pergi. Aku rasa rezeki aku semakin melimpah ruah dengan adanya Aneeq. Aku bangga. Betul.

Aku teringat Ustaz Azhar pernah kata something like: Kalau plan to not have kids sebab takut tak cukup duit(miskin) tu tak boleh, sebab the Quran says "..kill not your children because of poverty'-We provide sustenance for you and for them-"[6:151].

"..Kamilah yang memberi rezeki kepadamu dan kepada mereka.."[6:151].

Of course, it is not that you're killing anyone, but I kinda thought it'd be nice to know about that matter/issue in this kind of perspective. Kan?

I reaaalllly wish that the girl will read this. Harap-harap.

Random

Since I have a bit of free time, might as well I jot something down, even though they are random and there's really nothing on my mind right now.

Thinking back, during my early years in this profession, I did overtime 5-6 times per month at least which was quite normal to me( even though I can't claim on the OT for reason of executives are not allowed to claim on OT, like what the heck I have tonnes of work to do so I have to -__-). It didn't affect me much, even socially. Mother always wondered how can I still be energetic most of the time. I still don't know how I did it. I was not yet married at that time. Must be because of I'm living with my sister in Penang, nothing much I can do when I get back home kot.

Nowadays, I am so sick of it. The funny thing is, it is less busy now since I've moved up the career ladder and changed work place. I think it is because of being a working mother, I have to fetch Aneeq and then back to home do the house chores, cook for dinner, have some quality time with husband and Aneeq so I just feel like, stay back in the office after working hours is just a waste of time. Hehe

I still remember, about 4 months after I started working, I really enjoyed the responsibilty. I was like a SuperWoman. One day, I was doing work all by myself, no one helped me even though there were tonnes to do. I didn't ask for help, because to me, I don't need to, if they were nice enough, they would help me because I always helped them. Karma tells me I should get back what I give.

So, nobody helped me. But my hard work didn't go unnoticed. My boss saw my struggle, so he gathered us in a room, and he questioned them one by one, what they were doing, when they saw me working so hard.

At last, I kindly defended them, I said, "It's not their fault, Boss, I was the one who didn't ask for help."

My boss stood there, quiet, then he said clearly, "This is the kind of friend you want to keep for the rest of your life."

Chewaaahh...!

This boss was known to be as one of the most fierce/ most strict around. Since that day, he was always so nice to me. That day, he even gave me an hour off to freshen up and scolded my staff for burdening me with even the tiniest thing.

But then, sekarang ni..Tak kuasa aku nak tolong orang yang tak tolong aku. I know it's bad lah, tak boleh lah nak revenge revenge kan, but enough bullying me! Boss dekat sini tengok on paper je pun, bukan dia fikir kita buat kerja macam mana..as long as the work is settle within our LOS ( level of service). Boss baru ni agak relax jugak kadang-kadang but then quite pushy when it comes to something that urgent. Normal la tu kan, bila dah urgent baru nak kalut. Hehe. But seriously, I kinda like this new place..no stress, happy, convenient dan dekat dengan rumah babysitter Aneeq dan rumah aku sendiri. 15 minit je dari rumah -> rumah pengasuh Aneeq -> tempat kerja. Syukur-syukur. Hehe.

I've worked in a multiracial environment before, and never in my life that I felt that I was being looked down at. In fact, I still keep in touch with my Chinese/ Indian/ Malay/friends from my previous workplace. And, we still hate the same Chinese/ Indian/ Malay, not because of his/ her race, but because of the attitude. Kalau dah lazy, kerja tah apa-apa, berlagak pulak tu, mestilah mazmumah dan patut dibenci kan...dan bagi aku it is not about the race. Kena cermin diri balik, how good we are to condemn people..before we start condemning other people, look at ourselves..bagus kah kita?

Perhaps people look down on you not because you are a Malay, but because of your mentality or attitude or your behaviour, have you ever thought about that?

The boss who defended me (as told above) was an Chinese oldman (kekekeke). The colleagues who didn't help me (as told above) were Chinese/ Indian/ Malay.

Buktikan yang kita boleh, bukan stuck di zon selesa. Takde kena mengena dengan bangsa, unless you are indeed a racist.

To me, working in a multiracial environment is better, because indirectly, I would feel a sense of responsibility not to embarrass my race/ religion. Jadi, kita pun become a better person.

-----

Haha! Aku ni lagi laa..

My zon selesa tetap di Pandan Indah. I tell you to get out from your comfort zone, but I myself insist to return to my comfort zone. (Peace!)

-----

Oh, well.


Aku sekarang memang dah tak suka kerja susah-susah. Pegi kerja pukul 8pagi balik pukul 5petang. Thats it. Ambil Aneeq dari babysitter, balik rumah penyek-penyek Aneeq kejap, and if Aneeq mood baik boleh la terus start masak kalau tak okay kena layan dia sampai dia tidur. Malam lepas Maghrib la baru start masak jawabnya. And being me, after getting married and have my own son, aku sangat rajin masak. I even asked Aizat not to worry on what to eat for dinner sebab I will make it done cuma kadang-kadang aku serabut jugak nak masak apa pastu put the blame on Aizat sebab dia jenis tak kisah nak makan apa. Hahaha.


Oh my life is so good to me. Thank you. Terima kasih Tuhan. Alhamdulillah. :)

My real birth experience. Finally! :)

I wanted to write and to share my real experience during my delivery process 3 months ago. I wanted to write about what had happened during the labor and etc. But seriously when I started to write on that thing, at that point of time I feel scared. Scared of remembering of what had happened on that day. I should say..it was the scariest thing ever..that happened in my life.
-______-

But then, seeing Aneeq who turns 3 months yesterday and healthy (Alhamdulillah), I decided to write my normal delivery process since it was the greatest experience for myself even though it was seriously scary..so that when I'm about to give birth to Aneeq's future siblings ( not sure when hehe) I can refer to this, at least it can give me strength or a view or a self confidence or you name it or whatever. Hushh

Ok, back to the topic. To cut the story short, actually during my 7 months of pregnancy, the doctor told me that I had been suspected to have diabetic problem since my sugar reading at that time was quite high. So whether I like it or not, I have to deliver based on my due date. CAN'T be later than that. Which means, if tak deliver by 16Nov, aku akan di-induce untuk rasa sakit bersalin. Force delivery. Sakit, tahu? And, since then I always have this on my mind, and it scares me a lot. Seriously.

Everything went well and I had applied for maternity leave a week before the due date. I hope that and I keep on praying that I WILL delivered within that week, at least no force delivery, no induce and etc. Biar sakit semulajadi. Unfortunately, I feel nothing. Boleh pergi shopping barang baby lagi tu..

So hari yang ditakuti sampai juga. Hari Jumaat, 16hb November 2012. I was scheduled to get induced at early in the morning after the CTG ( checking on the baby's heart beat) and do the VE. ( vaginal examination). I hate VE. You can search it in the internet for further info. :). After all done, the MO ( medical doctor, not the houseman) which is a very gentle lady put something like a pill, macam panadol pil tu..she put it into my miss V. It didn't hurt me at all. VE lagi sakit kot. Then. aku ditahan wad for their observation. Apa yang nurse bagitau masa lepas aku kena induced tu is that normally for those who get induced will get their 2nd or 3rd induced baru boleh beranak. So I was like..err okay..I have to stay in the ward for 3 days kot if still tak deliver with the 1st induce. Dalam hati macam..pasrah je lah kan..

I have a feeling that sure aku akan diinduce untuk kali kedua since after the 1st one, I feel nothing at all. At all. Dari pukul 7.30pagi until 2pm..checking on VE bukaan cuma 1cm. Aku lagi la, ha..1cm? Tak sakit pun? -___-

Aizat and my whole family were really worried at that time. They keep on calling me asking about my condition. And being me, aku memang tak reti duduk diam kan. I was so anxious I could not sit still. I tossed and turned, I sat, I walked around, I read baby books. Family was not allowed to visit so I was all alone. Huhu. Luckily the room was okay, got air conditioner and so convenient. I just surfing the internet about delivery prosess and recite the Surah Maryam using my tablet so yeah I was not that bored,I should say.

So there it goes..I still feel nothing so I went to bed to have rest. But then..I still remember, it was 4am in the morning..I feel hot suddenly and wet. I looked at my pants, it was wet all over. So first thing came out from my mind is that my water bag is leaking. I push the button near my bed and called the nurse. She came and checking my temperature and gave me a new set of clothes. She asked me to change and quickly come to the checking room to do the VE again. At that time it was only 2cm dilated. The doctor ( houseman) told me that if by 6.30am the result is still the same, I will get my 2nd induced. The thing is that, I still feel nothing and yeah I was so redha at that time if that the only choice that I have.

Soon after that, I checked again and yeah got discharge, fresh blood but not that heavy. I went back to bed and sleep.

Tak lama lepas tu, tetiba aku rasa tak selesa. Sakit perut. Memulas-mulas. Bukan nak membuang. Its a no no. It happened every 15 minutes. I looked at my watch it was about 5.45am. Aku rasa sakit sangat. Sangat-sangat. Parents are allowed to visit at 6am so dalam masa sakit tu Aizat and my mother in law came in. I cried to Aizat, and he hold my hands dan berzikir dekat telinga aku. My mom in law on the other hand, buat air milo untuk beri tenaga untuk bersalin nanti. Based on her view at that time, aku memang akan bersalin pagi tu jugak. She brought so-called 'Air Selusuh' and asked me to drink it. Tak banyak pun aku minum. Sekadar sesudu, sebab rasa dia..ermmmmmmmm mestila tak sedap. Huhu..

It was 630am, Aizat and mom in law kena keluar wad. Masa melawat dah habis..aku menangis tak nak diorang tinggalkan aku. The nurse called me to do the VE again while me at that time I can't even stand still. Aizat pimpin aku ke bilik pemeriksaan. Tapi guard perempuan tu bising-bising suruh Aizat keluar. So Aizat terpaksa tinggalkan aku kat situ. Aku dah sakit sangat, macam dah 5 minit sekali. Nurse tengok aku dah pucat, she asked the doctor to bring me in first sebab masa tu ramai yang tengah tunggu untuk diseluk. Nurse pimpin aku masuk dan MO yang check not the houseman pagi tadi tu. Mujurlah. Doctor was surprised since after her checking she told to the nurse to bring me to the labor room as soon as possible. It was already 5cm approaching 6cm dilated.

Nurse dah kelam kabut cari wheel chair. Guard yang macam hampeh tadi pun kalut cari Aizat. Aizat was not there. Aizat di surau, solat Subuh and luckily my mom in law was there. She then quickly called Aizat, ( dia tengah baca Surah Maryam masa tu), bagitau yang aku dah ditolak masuk labor room dah. Aizat was so cuak, dia pun kelam kabut jugak. -___-

It was 7.30am but Aizat still not coming. The contractions were even worse. I just don't know what to do, the nurse came in, change my clothes and asked for baby's stuffs. Houseman came in, cucuk jarum dekat tangan but she FAILED. Dia tersilap cari urat tangan which ended bidan yang buat lastly. Cause me lebam dan padan muka houseman tu kena marah. Orang dah sakit, dia sakitkan lagi. Huhu

Aizat finally came. He saw me with pain, dia hampir menangis. Sakitnya Allah saja yang tahu. Aku dah tak tahan dengan sakit tu so I asked the houseman is there any painkiller that I can take because I can't hold it any longer. Nak meneran sangat-sangat dah. Masa tu bukaan dah 7cm, 8.30am. Houseman tu suruh aku sedut gas yang ada kat sebelah aku untuk kurangkan rasa sakit. Aku sedut banyaaaaaakkkk..but tak kurang pun sakit. In fact aku rasa MENGANTUK. Serius menyesal.

MO datang dalam pukul 9pagi. Masa tu ada houseman bangang mana ntah main seluk-seluk aku pastu buat muka confius, ' eh ni macam dah 8cm..eh macam 7cm lagi..' Aku tengah contraction kot. Rasa macam nak tendang je. Aizat was there, and I know he was mad at that time seeing they did that to me. Then MO datang untuk double check and he said that it's already 9cm. He asked me to PUSH. Okay, I was like..aku dah boleh beranak ke???' Sakit sangatttttt

Aku push dalam 3 kali tapi aku dah lali sangat. The doctor asked Aizat keluar dulu, and I know at that time mesti dah masuk kes kritikal. Bidan bisikkan dekat telinga asked me to try harder since the baby's head can be seen but I have no enough energy to push him out. Masa tu dalam samar-samar I heard his heart beat was beating so damn fast, Ya Allah aku tak nak jadi fetal distress. Aku rasa doctor tu gunting bahagian miss V aku but I don't know for what purpose. Doctor then told me..'Puan, just one push..cuba puan..this is the only way we can do for you. The rest is all up to you. Push kuat-kuat'. Masa tu dengan houseman, nurse, bidan, semua macam bersorak bagi semangat dah macam fun fair pun ada. Diorang mintak aku push sekuat hati aku, so dengan kelalian yang sangat-sangat, aku tarik nafas dalam-dalam and hembus sambil meneran. And then I heard the doctor said, "Good job..one more push. Baby tersekat dekat bahu. I need one more.". Aku push lagi then I feel something came out from me and then Aneeq's first scream loudly heard. I was so blessed. I looked at the watch that hanging on the wall..it was 9.31am. I just give birth to another human being at 9.31am, 17th November 2012. Happy tapi aku terlalu lali dan penat untuk melompat kegembiraan..:)

Lepas settle semua, I was informed that they wanted to check Aneeq's condition since the delivery was assisted with vacuum method. So kesan nya Aneeq dimasukkan ke NICU for 3 days and yes..I was so emotional at that time..menangis je aku kat rumah rindu Aneeq. After that 3 days, bawak Aneeq balik rumah the next day kena warded lagi because of the jaundice! Sedih sangat. Luckily sehari je warded lepas tu we both just monitor in KK. Alhamdulillah Aneeq jaundice tak lama, he was okay and healthy since then until now. Syukur sangat-sangat.

Pengalaman bersalin ni akan jadi something that would be the most scariest thing but then..when I think about it again..seeing Aneeq in my life I have to say that it was the most wonderful moment ever. I wanna do it again, InshaAllah sekiranya diberi keizinan dan dipanjangkan umur..Terima kasih Allah..YOU gave me one of your million miracles in my life. Ahmad Aneeq bin Ahmad Aizat.

:)

Susu ibu dan Aneeq :)

Sejak ada Aneeq ni, masa terluang aku semakin kurang. Masa aku banyak dihabiskan dengan melenyek-lenyek Aneeq sampai lunyai. Best betul ada anak ni, penat macam mana pun tengok Aneeq penat mesti cepat hilang. Syukurla, nikmat Allah bagi. :)

Aneeq sekarang dah makin nakal. Suka ajak orang bersembang. Kadang-kadang aku layankan aje, dia pun kalau dah orang melayan tu bercakap tak berhenti even orang tak faham sepatah pun. Dah pandai senyum dan gelak. Tahu tak, it is such a great feeling when you bf your baby lepas tu dia tengok muka kita, bertentang mata and then dia senyum sampai nampak gusi yang takda gigi tu. Geram tak? :) Having an eye contact with your baby while breastfeeding is something that..that I can't explain. Feel it yourself :)

I was morally down bila aku mengalami kemuruduman susu lepas demam hari tu, aku agak down dan stress sebenarnya. I always put the blame on me, I feel damn bad because I can't produce enough milk to Aneeq. Seriously sedih, susu aku hanya cukup-cukup untuk bagi Aneeq kenyang, aku tak boleh buat stok susu pun.

So we try another alternative to avoid things become even worse nanti. Aku tak mahu stay in a state of denial, just because of I want to fully bf Aneeq, hak kekenyangan Aneeq aku tak ambil kira. Sebab, yes we do have choices young lady. I have to think of something that can help me untuk kenyangkan Aneeq, which is something that I'm afraid of before ; Formula milk (fm). Aku terpaksa feed Aneeq dengan fm masa susu merudum hari tu sebab I want to teach him to taste it, in case kalau susu aku bekalkan tak cukup memenuhi kehendak Aneeq jadi memang dia terpaksa jugakla hadap susu fm ni. I cried watching Aneeq struggling and forcing himself masa aku suapkan botol dekat dia. Of course he refused to get feed, sebab susu ibu adalah yang terbaik kan. Tapi aku bisikkan dekat Aneeq just to try that first, it is not that I'm going to feed him with fm..but I have to..just in case. Aneeq cuba hadam dan telan, dan dia berjaya even terpaksa.

Seeing Aneeq macam terseksa sangat dengan fm, aku bertekad untuk try harder to increase my production milk. Aku consume macam-macam and I read a lottt just to know the method on how to increase the production. I even posted it in the FB, seeing that a lot of my friends now are a mother, maybe they can help me by sharing their experience. Kaedah yang paling berhasil yang aku cuba are 2 types. Satu, aku consume banyak lobak putih. Buat sayur cair letak ikan rebus..memang sedap. Lagi satu buat POWERPUMPING. Oh seriously this method helped me even better! Masa awal-awal buat, aku dapat pam angin je. Amount yang dapat just 1oz-1.5oz for 2 nights. Lepas dari tu dah mula bertambah dan bertambah and now already back to normal. Aku syukur sangat-sangat. Sekarang dah start kerja pun aku masih boleh bekalkan Aneeq dengan susu aku dekat babysitter. Alhamdulillah jugak, my work place is so convenient to do the pumping works during working hours. Aku ada buat jadual pumping setiap hari so bila siang even Aneeq tak da dengan aku pun, aku still boleh pump susu dan simpan susu untuk esok. Bila malam aku memang direct feed Aneeq je. That's how I do recently, dan Alhamdulillah production milk memang macam tu, so-so tapi Alhamdulillah masih cukup. Azam nak susukan Aneeq at least sampai 6 bulan harap-harap dimudahkan Allah. Dan, kalau boleh biarlah sampai dia umur 2 tahun. It's a bonus to me!

Kehidupan di KL tak jauh beza dengan life dekat Penang. But it is more happier since Hubby and little baby ada bersama. We are not that rich, but we are just happy of what we have right now. Doakan Aneeq cepat besar, dia pun dah 5.3kg at 2 months plus. Happy sangat tengok Aneeq membesar depan mata. Cuma bab Aneeq malam-malam tidur pukul 4 pagi tu yang meruntun jiwa tu. Hehe. Kadang-kadang kena gilir dengan Aizat, tapi aku dah faham macam mana nak tackle Aneeq. Time dia tidur, mak bapak haruslah tidur jugak. Time Aneeq jaga baru lah mak bapak berjaga dan masa tu la baru aku start buat kerja rumah. Hari Rabu lepas basuh kain dan basuh pinggan pukul 3 pagi yoo. heh, kau ade?

:)